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DEARSUGAR NEEDS YOUR HELP: Lend A Guy A Helping Hand

DEARSUGAR and Helpful Hadyn need your help. Her best friend's boyfriend has asked her to come shopping with him to help him pick out the perfect holiday present for his girlfriend. She has been down this road before though and her good intentions have backfired on her causing a fight between her and her friend.

She wants to help out her friend's boyfriend, but she doesn't want to get in the middle of a lover's squabble if he decides against her suggestions and disappoints her friend with a random gift. What should she do?

Dear Sugar
My best friend's boyfriend has asked me to accompany him shopping this weekend to help pick out a holiday gift for her. I am rather reluctant to go because the last time I helped a guy shop for a friend of mine, she was very disappointed with her present.

He went completely against my jewelry choice and wound up picking out a bright red wallet for her instead. She was extremely disappointed and since he told her that I had gone with him, she blamed me for him not getting her what she had hoped for.

I'd like to assist him since I know exactly what she wants, however, I feel like it's a little risky to try this again. My better judgement is telling me to stay out of it and just email him some ideas to help point him in the right direction.

This way, if she tries to blame me for anything, I have a record of my suggestions. I feel like I sound like a woman scorned. What do you think? Should I even bother to get involved with this kind of thing again? Helpful Hadyn

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Join The Conversation
the-makeup-blogette the-makeup-blogette 9 years
agree with stinko... when it comes to buying a present isnt the thought that counts - unless someone buys me a toilet brush or something equally lame. since the girlfriend is so finicky abt what she likes she can be shameless enough to just tell the bf what he shd buy for her. even better bring her along so she can choose. maybe there is no element of surprise, but at least the effort and money spent is not wasted on getting an unwanted present that caused so much tension and unhappiness.
getstinko getstinko 9 years
Damn 1. girlfriend sounds like a picky spoiled bitch 2. boyfriend shouldn't be using you as a crutch, he should have the ability and interest to pick out something special without relying on you - or is he too lazy or too stupid
Toronado Toronado 9 years
Hmmm, he needs HELP picking out a gift for his own girlfriend? He doesn't know her that well, does he? Be careful. I smell hidden motives.
celsou celsou 9 years
This sounds like two separate friends - not one friend that has scorned your help before. The girl that got angry at you for not picking out the "right" gift - even though you didnt - just sonds incredibly immature and selfish. I wouldnt let that taint this trip (if this is a different friend). Knowing that this could backfire again, however, I think you are on the right track: email him suggestions or let him know exactly what you think she wants and let him work it out from there. But man, these girls need to work on their own boyfriends. These guys keep coming to you for advice? Shouldnt they know what their girlfriends like, or be comfortable going to them?
Vsugar Vsugar 9 years
I really like your idea - then you've helped him out without getting overly involved - he'll understand. And I agree with above, you should make sure that all the people that know that other friend make a contribution to a charity for her gift for the next ten years. How dare she be upset over not getting the "right" present. Blah. My family doesn't do presents because we can't possibly afford to buy everyone what they "want", but we also don't really NEED anything (unless someone wants to pay off me student loans for me or pay my rent for a year - hint hint). So we make a charitable contribution as a family. That's better for everyone. DOWN WITH SPOILED BRATS!!!
Luxebot Luxebot 9 years
Your friend sounds kind of spoiled. If she's so picky about what she'd like to receive as a gift, she should just tell him. I don't see why you should get involved at all. Maybe you should just tell him exactly what she wants, if she doesn't want to tell him herself. But I don't think you should go on a shopping trip with him again.
t0xxic t0xxic 9 years
I think you kno what to do just suggest somet hings ---- My D babes loves me :YAAR:
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