DEARSUGAR and Concerned Cornelia need your help. She loves both her family and boyfriend very much, but he makes no effort at all with them and it's turning her parents off. She just wishes that he'd show his face at her home every once in a while and do the right thing. Does anyone have any creative suggestions for ways she can talk to him about this?
I come from a very family-oriented family and my boyfriend unfortunately doesn't. We have been together for about two years, and he still refuses to come around and spend even the slightest amount of time at my parents' house, let alone spend the holidays with my family.
My parents are at the point now where I don't even think that they like him. They find this behavior disrespectful and feel that he has shunned them. They don't trust him and feel like he has something to hide. I can tell that they don't even want to bother trying to forge a relationship with him any longer. He's not even willing to really even talk with them on the phone.
The problem is that I understand that since he's not close to his own family, he doesn't feel the need to spend time with my family. Besides this inconvenient issue, I know that he is the one for me. If only I could just get him to spend a tiny bit more time with my parents, they could see the person that I see.
I've talked to him plenty of times about how I feel, and it just seems like he brushes it off. I am frustrated because he tells everyone that he wants to marry me, so I know that he loves me, but I can't understand why he can't just make more of an effort with my folks? What can I do to smooth this out? Concerned Cornelia