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DEARSUGAR and Offended Olinda need your help. Of course you want your friends to be honest with you - but maybe not quite as brutally honest as telling you that they think you have an unattractive child. What is the ruling on this one?

It reminds me of that Ugly Baby Seinfeld episode when Elaine, Kramer and Jerry were talking about a friend's baby and they didn't realize that the monitor was on and the parents heard them talking about how they couldn't stand the sight of it.

Dear Sugar
Recently, I sent a good friend a photo of my six month old son. After two days had passed, I decided to call her to make sure that she received the e-mail photo. I was so excited to finally have a good shot of him and I am such a proud Mommy.

When she answered the phone, I was shocked to hear that the first thing out of her mouth was her telling me that my child has big bug eyes, his head is oddly placed far back, his eyes are set too widely and that he has a flat nose...just like me. I have to say that I was appalled by her comments!

If I hadn't stopped her, I'll be she would have just kept on critiquing my poor baby negatively. I couldn't believe that she had nothing positive to say to me about my pride and joy. Do you think that she has the right to be this honest in a negative way about my child or am I just being overly sensitive? Offended Olinda

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Honeychild Honeychild 9 years
She sounds bitter. Let me guess she doesnt have kids?
OMGSeriously OMGSeriously 9 years
wow people act like there are no ugly babies and you can't say anything bad about a least her friend didn't lie to her but at the same time I see why she is so mad because that's her baby.
Fancy04 Fancy04 9 years
Very rude. All babies are cute.
kittycat kittycat 9 years
its wrong to trash a baby. period.
yayita yayita 9 years
Jen you are insane woman! if one of your babies was ugly I would say it hahahaa. They are both so darn cute!
jennicka jennicka 9 years
your friend has abviously never seen a baby before. until babies are 6-10 months old, of course they look funny. they are new...just like a puppy. thats why people say they change so much. thats what makes them so darn cute!! im sure your baby is gorgeous and the most important thing is that your child is happy and healthy. have fun with your baby and forget your friends comments.
getstinko getstinko 9 years
She's probably not a good friend, a bitch or just super immature. it is ridiculous to call any child or baby, ugly or unattractive. look at some celebrity child and baby photos and you can recognize that even the oddest looking babies can grow up to be gorgeous. never sink to the level of someone this stupid, just move on and surround yourself with more mature positive people.
Vsugar Vsugar 9 years
I can't imagine EVER saying anything like that about ANYONE'S baby!! I mean, she couldn't at least come up with something like, 'Wow, I'm am so happy for you that you have a healthy child and that things are going so well for you!! - Thank you for sharing this picture with me!!" COME ON!! She doesn't sound like the kind of person you should want as a friend. Is this the only time she's ever done anything like this? Was it shocking to you only because it was about your baby, or was it also because this was very unusual and unexpected behavior from her? If this is how she normally is, you might want to rethink your relationship with her. If not, I would keep my eyes peeled for signs of more of this kind of behavior. Yikes. I'm sorry she did that to you.
peepshow peepshow 9 years
My friend had an ugly baby. So what? Deep down she probably knew it. The first picture sent out-- whew! Anyway, I didn't say how ugly I THOUGHT he was... I just said I couldn't wait to meet him and hold him, etc. etc. Which was the truth. Then when I finally met him- he wasn't a newborn (and therefore odd looking by default) and he was a cute bubbling little almost-one year old!
ethiopian_princess ethiopian_princess 9 years
That is really rude. In all honesty though (to readers, not Olinda), some babies are NOT cute but they end up being adorable kids and adults. My brother was FUG as a baby, something my parents and even he admits to. Some of the same issues here. He had a big alien head, ginormous eyes, an oddly shaped head and he wailed ALL the time. He turned out to be very handsome. Imagine that.
bpjedi bpjedi 9 years
First off, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Secondly, I agree with what everyone else is saying--your friend was entirely inappropriate, and quite cruel. I have two gorgeous one-year-old nieces. Although I don't necessarily expect everyone to gush over them --some people aren't into kids, I guess--I would be pretty hurt and offended if anyone said anything like what your friend said to you.
siren6 siren6 9 years
A "good friend" could have used a number of tactful ways to let you know she received your photo without totally dissing your baby, including "Yes I got the photo, thanks!" and then simply changing the topic. I'd certainly remove this "friend" off any future baby picture distribution lists!
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
Thanks, Sweet C. You see? Real friends will even lie straight to your face just to say something nice about your baby. ;)
ishtar ishtar 9 years
yeah friends can be weird but who would ever say something like that about a poor defenseless baby and new mother....if i was in your position, i wouldnt talk to her anymore..ive actually done that when ppl have said rude things to me so unless she's close to you, id just stop talking to her and if she cares about you, she'll get the picture and ask what she did or say sorry.
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
friends can get a little weird when you have a baby or get married (engaged). i'm guessing she's maybe been not real great support wise in the past. sometimes they feel threatened by you having something they don't, sometimes they feel left behind by your new life. unfortunately as some of the other posters pointed out sometimes they are just bitches trying to upset you. consider the source and don't bother sending her any more pix until she asks.
magicdress magicdress 9 years
I agree with all the above--she was WAY out of line! I'd give her a 2nd chance tho: be honest and tell her how her comments affected you and give her a chance to make amends. If she gets defensive or otherwise does not acknowledge how hurtful her behavior was, then kick her to the curb and don't look back.
JennyJen2 JennyJen2 9 years
This is no friend. I think she sounds very jealous and apparently her mother never told her - "if you don't have something nice to say...."
JessNess JessNess 9 years
That is horrible. I dont think she is the close of a friend if she is willing to openly tell you how ugly she thinks your kid is. Specially since the way your kid looks is a direct reflection of your looks. Super rude! I would talk her and tell her that you were hurt.
SWEET-C9363 SWEET-C9363 9 years
jen 76 ur babies were both cute!! stop it lol
bluejeanie bluejeanie 9 years
i think it's so mean to make fun of the way babies or children look! she does not sound like a very nice person... jen76, i agree, almost everyone can find something nice to say about a baby!
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
That sounds like a rude person who was *trying* to hurt you for whatever reason. I had one beautiful baby and one fat, ugly baby. LOL Seriously. Everyone raved about the first but even complete strangers found *something* nice to say about my ugly baby.
ishtar ishtar 9 years
awww please don't be hurt, i am sure your baby is really really cute. what a horrible thing to hear...that lady sounds completely and totally jealous. don't listen to her, your baby is the pride and joy of your life and she probably doesnt have anything that is the pride and joy of her life.
missnomi missnomi 9 years
I agree with everyone, this is not a friend, an d what she did was so not done. having said that, please don't worry about how she hurt your baby, he doesn't know. she hurt you more.
BeachBarbie BeachBarbie 9 years
One more thing: I wouldn't lower yourself to her level. I've lowered myself a few times before, and I never felt any better, just worse. Also, I never feel good about myself when I did, it's just not me. I would just not take her calls, or have anything to do with her at all. By the way, my two comments, are just my opinion.
cubadog cubadog 9 years
That isn't just bitchy it is rude beyond anything I have ever heard. ALL babies go through a goofy stage but no one in the right mind says anything so horrible. I would definitely call her on it.
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