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DEARSUGAR NEEDS YOUR HELP: So You Think You Can Sing

DEARSUGAR and Gentle Geri need your help. Her boyfriend has a terrible voice, but he thinks that he can sing and plans to sing at a few upcoming weddings. How can she urge him to give a speech instead and spare him from embarrassment?

Dear Sugar
My dear, sweet boyfriend thinks he can sing, but he can't. He's awful. This season, he has been asked to make several toasts at weddings. Unfortunately for the bride, the groom and the crowd, he has come up with the idea to substitute songs for speeches.

Both of his siblings are engaged and he is already beginning to write his songs in preparation for the big events ahead. He went to college for music (guitar), has been in a band, and now works professionally in music. He thinks that singing is more reflective of his personality.

I don't have the heart to tell him that he's got a horrible voice, but I also don't want to see him humiliate himself up there in front of his family and friends. What's a girl to do? How can I talk to him nicely about not singing in front of crowds any longer? Gentle Geri

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cubadog cubadog 9 years
I have to agree with Val. A wedding reception is not the place to show off your lack of talent.
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
yeah i totally understand too. anyone want to be in a dance competition with elaine from seinfield? it would be great if people would really just think about the intention of the gift but as we all know, that isn't how it works after first grade. giving someone a "gift" they don't want is no kindness anyway. they didn't ask for their wedding to be turned into a talent show, they asked for a toast.
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 9 years
purplesugar: I can understand where she's coming from. It's like putting on an ugly outfit and your bestfriend telling you it makes you look fat. She's doing it so you're not embarrassed, not so she won't have to be seen with you. ~* “I think the thing to do is to enjoy the ride while you're on it.” -Johnny Depp *~
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 9 years
purplesugar: I can understand where she's coming from. It's like putting on an ugly outfit and your bestfriend telling you it makes you look fat. She's doing it so you're not embarrassed, not so she won't have to be seen with you. ~* “I think the thing to do is to enjoy the ride while you're on it.” -Johnny Depp *~
purplesugar purplesugar 9 years
Be honest with yourself, you're more worried about him humiliating you than himself. If singing is what he really wants to do then let him do it. It is not worth you hurting his feelings and making him feel insecure about his career and this kind gesture that he wants to offer for his siblings' big day. I hardly think that any couple's wedding day would be ruined by someone singing a heartfelt song that was written especially for them, and I doubt anyone will be expecting him to sound like Josh Groban - except maybe you. Let go of your selfishness; be proud of your husband's kind and thoughtful gesture and let him know that you think he did a wonderful job.
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
lol, i spent the first 6 weeks expecting her coach to say something like "when it comes to singing; you're a good piano player". then one day i heard something in her voice that was very pleasant, just for a few seconds but it was there. it got better over time. she has about a 2 1/2 octave range now meaning she can sing more than britney but she's no christina aguilera. she has fun and can read music (which i think is nice).
BeachBarbie BeachBarbie 9 years
valeri, that was helpful. :) Also, good to know that improvements can be made in such a short period of time.
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
my middle daughter has been taking voice lessons for almost a year. her first voice coach moved out of state and introduced us to her current instructor. if you get a "real" voice coach they will do 2 things that will do the job for you. 1) they will tell a person flat out to find a vocation that will be more rewarding if they don't have the ear/range/investment, 2) record each session and send them home with the tape to practice with until the next lesson. both of her instructors have told us about adults that came in to do exactly what you are suggesting and the instructor either found a short piece of a song that required limited vocal range or told them "not everyone is a singer". lessons are $1 a minute here w/ a 30 minute a week minimum. you would be surprised at the improvements a person can make in just the first few weeks (it's slower later on).
My-Opinion My-Opinion 9 years
BB, you beat me to it., I was gonna suggest the same think..
cubadog cubadog 9 years
Great idea BeachBarbie he may think he sounds great. All I can think of is that episode of friends when Ross was going to play the accordian at Monica and Chandlers wedding. How frightening. I would defnitely give the bride and groom a heads up I would hate for their day to be ruined by something so awful.
BeachBarbie BeachBarbie 9 years
I would tape record him (let him know of course). Then, let him listen to it..if he is okay with it, there isn't much you can do except, not go to the wedding. Do the bride and groom realize he is going to do this?
herbiefrog herbiefrog 9 years
maybe you could try the song is more important than the voice the content and understanding
bluejeanie bluejeanie 9 years
maybe you could get him some voice lessons. check on craigslist or at a local college. there are plenty of vocal music education majors that will do them for cheap for the practice. he won't sound horrible then, he'll be on key and hopefully will be able to carry a tune. :) that way you can support him and not embarrass him. be nice.
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