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DEARSUGAR NEEDS YOUR HELP: Surprise Ex Visit

DEARSUGAR and Perplexed Penny Need Your Help. Do you think it's a smart idea to go out on a casual date with a guy (and his mom) who just cheated on you three weeks ago?

Dear Sugar,
My ex boyfriend is coming to Chicago with his mom for the weekend. I am wondering if he's coming to see me or if he is just coming to hang out in The Windy City for the weekend?

When he called, he asked me to go to the Beck concert with him and his mom on Saturday night. In the craziness of this phone call, I accepted, but after I hung up, I was unsure and very surprised that he called and invited me.

The break up is still pretty fresh. We broke up three weeks ago because he cheated on me. I have been sad and hurt ever since. Do you think that I should go? And if I do decide to go, what should I expect from the evening? Why does he want to hang with me and his mom? Perplexed Penny

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azucar_maddy azucar_maddy 10 years
I would say that you absolutely should not go. You should try to put this guy completely in the past, as he betrayed by cheating on you. He will always consider his "needs" above yours, so what is the point of even havin him in your life? My parents always told me that trash belongs in the garbage. I think they were right.
BeachBarbie BeachBarbie 10 years
I definitely would not go. This guy cheated on you....there is no way I would ever go any where w/ someone who cheated on me. Make something up and get out of it. Or, say it was temporary insanity when you accepted the invitation, and you don't want to go now. This is just my opinion. But, I hate what he did to you. Be strong; you deserve better. :)
la_clique la_clique 10 years
NO! Do not pass go, do not collect $200. This is such a bad idea.
honeysugar28 honeysugar28 10 years
No I don't think she should go if she's been hurting over this guy seeing him will only make her feel worse!
findblancomeow findblancomeow 10 years
i guess i'm in the minority, but i would say go to the concert! it doesn't sound like she is asking dear if she should take him back, just if she should go to the show... he has already messed with her head by calling her up and extending the invitation, so she should at least get to go hear some good music. his mom being there would keep things from escalating into a big fight, or from falling into old habits of togetherness... just a thought. :)
beautyjunkie50 beautyjunkie50 10 years
Does this guy have no shame?? Inviting you out right after he cheats on you? Umm ... and using his mother as a buffer?? Geeez. Don't fall for it! Hard as it may seem, try and forget him and move on. Your deserve someone much better.
Arthur Arthur 10 years
no way! sheesh. And don't worry, I went to the beck show like two weeks ago and it wasn't good, so you're not missing anything.
Aracelly Aracelly 10 years
You are too good for him.
sabrinaland sabrinaland 10 years
Cpoe17 is right, it will only hurt worse seeing him again, especially if you go to the concert and Beck starts singing a slow song. Who knows what your ex's reasons are for wanting to see you again, it could be anything, so try not to torture yourself thinking what it might be. If he really wants to talk to you or is serious about working things out, he'll do his best to contact you. Men (and women) want what they cannot have. Just do your own thing and be good to yourself !
ckane ckane 10 years
Once he cheats, he will more than likely do it again. It sounds like he is using his Mom to soften you up. Who needs that? If he was serious about getting back together, he would have said so, and he wouldn't bring his Mom.
cpoe17 cpoe17 10 years
I've been in your situation. And I did go. It was awkward and all it did was make me want him. Never, never stay with a guy that cheated on you. Even if he wants you back, he's not worth it. If he loved you, he wouldn't have cheated. Clear and simple. Go if you want, but I'm telling you from experience it'll only hurt worse.
ohilovemybabies ohilovemybabies 10 years
Forget about him. I hate cheaters!!!!!!!111
yiddidea yiddidea 10 years
Simple answer here: NO! He cheated, you are hurt, he does not deserve your time or company. Nuff said.
KimmiAnn KimmiAnn 10 years
The wounds are too fresh. If you decide that you want to forgive him, he needs to do some serious proving of himself before you ever take him back! Be true to yourself girl! You deserve the best. Believe in Magic!
L7amiguita L7amiguita 10 years
Ok, I can't even believe you are asking this question. HELLO...THE GUY CHEATED ON YOU! Why are you wasting your time on him? Do you want him back or something? If so, whatever bad thing he does to you again, is your fault. "Fool me once, shame on him....fool me twice, shame on me!" (At least that's how I think the saying goes :) )
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