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DEARSUGAR NEEDS YOUR HELP: Why Doesn't He Trust Me?

DEARSUGAR NEEDS YOUR HELP: Why Doesn't He Trust Me?

DEARSUGAR and Aggravated Ava need your help. If you ask me, it sounds like he's found something of yours that you are not admitting to. Have you gotten any strange emails, voice mails, cards or text messages that would be setting him off like this? Why would he go from trusting you to full on paranoia for no reason?

If the answer is no and he's just this psychotically insecure then I think it's time to break up. This does not sound like the kind of relationship with a bright and healthy future. I'm sorry Ava, I know you aren't ready, but this will never last. What do you guys think? Have you ever dated someone this jealous?

Dear Sugar,
Recently, my boyfriend of two years has been very focused on my fidelity. I've never cheated on him or any other boyfriend before, but he is preoccupied with the idea that I am sleeping with someone else. When I don't answer my phone after two rings he'll ask me if I'm too busy "getting busy" to answer his calls.

He's even taken to accusing me of cheating with my girlfriends if I tell him we are out at the mall or out wherever. I find it strange because he's never really been like this before. We've always been really open with each other so it feels like he is coming at me out of the blue with this stuff.

I think that if he really loved me this wouldn't be an issue so far into our relationship. It finally got to a point the other night where I told him that his mistrust and suspicions are becoming really big turn offs for me. Last week he called me after a night out drinking with his friends and told me that he had cheated on me and that I should just admit that I had cheated on him too because we had both messed up now.

I told him, again, that I had always been faithful to him and I got really upset. The next morning he called and apologized and said that he hadn't really cheated on me but was just testing me to see if I had ever slipped up. I chose to believe that he never cheated...but it is disturbing that he would use a mean and hurtful ploy to try and make me admit to something that I've never even done.

It seems as if he is projecting his guilty feelings onto me, but I am pretty confused. I love him but his lack of trust is excessive and I don't know what to say or do (beyond what I've done already) to reassure him that I love him and that I have not, nor will I cheat on him. I'm not ready to break up with him, but I'm not sure where to go from here. I don't want to be on the defensive for the rest of our relationship. Aggravated Ava

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