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DEARSUGAR Needs Your Help: My Ex Is Invading My Dreams

DEARSUGAR and Mikaela McDreamy need your help. She's subconsciously still holding onto the idea that her awful and abusive ex boyfriend was this fantastic catch. How can we get her to understand that this guy was never as wonderful as she's romanticized him to be?

Dear Sugar
Seven years ago I ended a four year relationship. The first two years were heavenly. During the third year he became possessive and controlling and the fourth year was total disaster filled with emotional and mental abuse from him. I ended it with a phone call which I felt was the safest way and never spoke a word to him again.

A year after that relationship ended I met a wonderful man I have been happily married to him for three years. Things are really great between us, however, I am
constantly dreaming about my ex. In my dreams he begs me to take him back, tears and all - and I keep telling him that I'm married and that I can't leave my husband. In my dreams he doesn't listen to me, instead he just grabs me and passionately kisses me.

I want to put this behind me and get him completely out of my mind. I'm feeling guilty that I'm dreaming about my ex who was so terrible to me when I have a wonderful husband sleeping right next to me. Do you have any advice? Mikaela McDreamy

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