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DEARSUGAR Needs Your Help: My Friend Is A Dirty Birdie

It's that time again DEARSUGAR readers. How can you help out Covering It Up Colette?

Dear Sugar
The woman who cleans my house for me is really lovely and over the past three years, we've formed a very nice relationship. The other day when she came over she was upset and asked to talk to me about something.

She was cleaning the home of someone I had recommended to her and in the middle of working, she just up and quit. She told me that my friend was extremely dirty, that he refused to purchase the products she requested and that he is very rude to her. She hoped that I understood.

The problem is that my friend doesn't understand why she quit and I've been trying to tip toe around the fact that he is so dirty and disrespectful sometimes that he disgusts her. What should I say to him? Covering It Up Colette

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herbiefrog herbiefrog 9 years
> I've been trying to tip toe around the fact that > he is so dirty and disrespectful sometimes > that he disgusts her. most of your concepts of dirty and disrepectful came from your upbringing ...and yet you are both human
bonkers bonkers 9 years
just be honest. tell him she thinks he's filthy and wouldn't purchase the products. it takes one call and then you can just back out and let him decide what he wants to do...either go on being nasty dirty, or pick up after himself a little.
Psylocke74 Psylocke74 9 years
If he's being rude then he needs to know about it! There is absolutely no excuse for behaviour like that and it would personally annoy me enough to compel me to tell him!
clepiau clepiau 9 years
I'd tell him to ask her. You're not the one who quit and you're not the one who was left, so it's not your obligation to be their go-between. I used to clean houses, though, and there is nothing worse than a rude client. It's bad enough that you're cleaning up other people's messes. You don't have to be treated like a second-class citizen as well. On second thought, having just said that... If you have developed a good relationship with her then maybe you should tell him. He's been disrespectful and hurtful to someone you not only (presumably) care about as a person, but whom you (presumably) want to keep working for you. If she were any other friend you wouldn't stand for her to be mistreated, so if he is persistent in asking why she left, maybe you should just tell him. At least the part about being rude, anyway.
pattyo pattyo 9 years
Just tell him the truth...your friend will respect you more. If he is a jerk that can't handle the truth...then is he worth keepin around as a friend.
Rainey Rainey 9 years
It's funny b/c a lot of people clean up before the housecleaner gets there and then there are those who just sweep everything from the table onto the floor, for the housecleaner to get. That is just ignorant. I'm glad I don't clean other people's houses for a living. If I did, I would choose the one's that weren't horrendously messy. I wouldn't bother saying anything either. If he doesn't know he's so messy, then it isn't worth trying to explain it.
t0xxic t0xxic 9 years
Tell the rude and materials part stay out of the dirrty ness
Nicadema Nicadema 9 years
I have to agree with Shawna. You could stay out of it--yes...but this man needs to be told that he is a disgusting slob who doesn't know how to treat people with mutual respect. He needs to be hit with the truth stick, and learn a life lesson.
Jinx Jinx 9 years
Didn't they recommend the cleaner, not the client? lol
emmad18 emmad18 9 years
yeah, i guess
Toronado Toronado 9 years
Well, she's already a part of it. She was the one who recommended him. So if he asks her what the hell got up the cleaning lady's prosterior, she's entitled to answer him. Just tell him exactly what the lady told you. What are you gonna do...lie?
emmad18 emmad18 9 years
maybe just tell him you dont know why she quit? after all its not your problem
Masqueraded_Angel Masqueraded_Angel 9 years
I'm sorry...I disagree. If his surroundings were really THAT bad to the point where she walked out, then he needs to know. Regardless of who tells him. What other reason would a cleaner walk out? If he's really that oblivious to his nasty-a$$ surroundings, then he needs to be told PRONTO by SOMEBODY. Just look at him and say, "How do you expect to get laid when your place looks like THIS?"
Le-Luxe Le-Luxe 9 years
Ohh a toughie. I was going to say that you should tell him straight out 'why' she walked out. But now that I think about it, Arthur is right. DON'T get involved. Let it go. Its over anyway, its not like she is going to go back!
cubadog cubadog 9 years
I assume he owns a phone... Tell him to call her and ask. Stay out of it.
Jinx Jinx 9 years
I agree, tell your friend to talk to her, not you. Tell them you don't discuss your cleaners other clients.
Arthur Arthur 9 years
DON'T Get involved. Why on earth would you?
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