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Dating Disaster: How To Let Him Down Easy

Dear Sugar
I met a guy at a baseball game a few months ago. He seemed really nice. He was funny, and pretty cute. We chatted throughout innings and at the end of the game, we exchanged business cards. The next day I received an e-mail from him asking me out to dinner. We emailed back and forth throughout the day and I accepted his dinner invitation.

The next week we met for our dinner date... and let's just say there was no chemistry. The conversation was dull, he talked only about himself, and there were way too many awkward silences. Towards the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to grab a drink before we went out separate ways. I politely declined, thanked him for a lovely dinner, and went home.

The next day, I opened my email and low and behold he had written me asking me out again. A few hours later, I check my cell phone, and he had left me a message as well! I was in complete disbelief that he felt a spark between us and actually wanted to take me out on another date.

I did not respond to his email or voice mail. Over the next few weeks, my inbox and cell phone was inundated with messages from him. Each email was followed up by a voice mail and visa versa. I thought that ignoring his creepy aggressiveness would be enough of a hint, but no such luck. How do I tell him I am just not interested without hurting his feelings? Spare Me Milly

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Spare Me Milly
This guy sure is persistent. Breaking things off with a man is never fun and sometimes quite uncomfortable. Ignoring his messages will only leave him wondering what happened or with hurt feelings. I think honesty is the best policy when ending relationships, even if it was only one date.

If you really want to avoid speaking to him, try emailing your blind date and saying something like this:

"I am sorry I have not gotten back to you. I have received all your messages and while I am flattered by your interest, I am not looking for a relationship right now. I am sorry if I lead you on to you think differently. Thank you once again for dinner the other night. Take care."

Hopefully a straight forward, yet respectful response will finally put an end to your dating disaster. Being direct without being rude or disrespectful will hopefully get the point across. Even though it didn't work out with this guy, there plenty of other dating treasures to be found. Don't let him discourage you from dating. Good luck.

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Join The Conversation
LaLaLola LaLaLola 9 years
This is great advice, I'm terrible at rejecting people in any way.
herbiefrog herbiefrog 9 years
that sounds like what we were supposed to write but you wrote it first so we don hav to : ) i think we were sposed to say, maybe he's not that interested in you you are just on the path you are sposed to help any chance of that? soon?
Imabeliever Imabeliever 9 years
Wow.. I am a little suprised at you Milly.. you have business cards but not the basic life skills to tell someone you don't want to see them again with tact? Consider him a vendor or a possible business partner..if you are not interested.. do you ditch them too or do you politely say thank you for your time and effort but we are not really interested at this time. I don't get it.
BeachBarbie BeachBarbie 9 years
DearSugar, that was excellent advice. :)
nicachica nicachica 9 years
i agree with everyone but i'd also add that next time you want to break it off with a guy, just tell him sooner rather than later. there really is no way around hurt feelings if one person is interested and the other isn't and frankly, it's pretty rude to just ignore someone like that (i myself have been guilty of it more than once). i will also say that he sounds like he's getting kinda creepy so email is the best way to let him know. good luck!
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 9 years
This guy sounds a bit freaky. You met him a few months ago and went out once, and he's still trying to contact you?
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
ewwwwww, that's a bit much for one date. i'd be afraid to contact him at all, he certainly doesn't need any encouragement.
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
I agree. Just makes him wonder why you went on the date in the first place. I like Dear's advice, but I'd change that one bit, too.
la_clique la_clique 9 years
Yeah, this is good advice. Do it asap! And don't take his calls, just the email should suffice.
LaylaCams LaylaCams 9 years
Copy and pasta that asap, lol Let's just hope he doesn't read DearSugar, because I totally agree with Dear. Emailing him is a great way to be honest and avoid the awkwardness.
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