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Dating: When Does Older Become Grosser?

I saw Woody Allen's latest film this weekend — Whatever Works, meaning do whatever it takes to make you happy, or "filch whatever happiness you can" as Larry David's nihilist character says. For him that means marrying a much, much, so much, younger woman, played by Evan Rachel Wood. Wood is 21. David is 61.


Thankfully, save a shudder-worthy Viagra reference, Allen spares the audience from any sex scenes between the two. But whether it's Larry David's unfalteringly artless performance or Woody Allen's personal baggage left over from marrying his adopted daughter, it never feels right or romantic or even endearing. (Meanwhile, a woman over 40 who dates men younger — but not this much younger! — has her own pejorative term.)

When it comes to dating, how old would you go? Is there a limit, or should we do whatever works?

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ali321 ali321 6 years
When they're the same age as your parents or older. Or if you're under 21 and dating someone like 8 or more years older. But there are always exceptions.
petites-mains petites-mains 7 years
I think your age is definitely a factor. I'm 24 and dating a guy who is 34. 10 years may seem like a huge difference, but at this point we are at similar places in our lives. Just a couple of years ago, I wouldn't dream of dating someone 10 years my senior, but hings change a lot once you graduate from college and are out in the real world. It really just depends on the person. My bf is a really youthful looking and acting guy, so it works. And you can't beat the maturity an older man brings to the table.
EatYourVeggies EatYourVeggies 7 years
My dad is six years older than my mom and they've been married forever, so I think my personal threshold is 10 years older at the very maximum.
bunnyOhare bunnyOhare 7 years
I tend to agree with the 10 year rule in general. My husband is 6 years younger than me, but we got together when he was 19 and I was 25. It took a while for him to mature, but we joke that I "got him young and trained him right" ;) To filmgirl - I'm 43 and will be going to several concerts this summer (DMB and U2 for starters) so age isn't necessarily a barrier to that ;) What I think gets in the way is having kids. My husband and I are childfree (by infertility, not choice) and I know we act younger and do more than our friends with children, especially younger children.
californiagirlx7 californiagirlx7 7 years
I'm 20 years old and I'm generally attracted to older men (even actors like Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt, who are the same age as my father!), but I probably wouldn't date anyone more than ten years older than me. At least, not until I'm a little older...I think age difference doesn't matter that much once you reach a certain age.
MissSushi MissSushi 7 years
My husband is 7 years older then me, 24 and 31, and I think its fairly well pair. We have the same interests and the only real difference that causes issues doesnt really have to do with age, but personality. I think it helped that I was never one of the wild child type, I wanted a family young since i was a peapod, and he was at the stage to start a family.
Red315 Red315 7 years
i found out a few months ago that my dad (52) has been dating a girl for the past three years without the family knowing... already upset he then tells me she is 24. my sister is 25. it is just disgusting to know they are together. maybe it would be different if she seemed like she actually cared for my dad but all she seems to do is complain. personally i think she's with him so she doesn't have to work & get to spend his money. it's pathetic, and utterly DISGUSTING.
genesisrocks genesisrocks 7 years
Depends. The older you are the bigger age difference you can get away with. Like if a 70 yr old and a 90 yr old go out that's a 20 year age difference but no one would even blink an eye at it.
redchick152 redchick152 7 years
i'm 24 and my current age limit is 30....past 30, i feel like guys are probably looking for marriage/babies/etc and i am just not ready for that stage of life. that outlook will probably change once i reach my 30's though!
herfallingstar herfallingstar 7 years
I always 'knew' that I couldn't be with someone much older than myself. But then I ended up in an 'age-gap relationship' and you have a whole new perspective. A friend of mine has often commented on how age is just a number. I mean, look at Ronnie Wood and Katia. Okay, so the circumstances were unfortunate, but there's 40 years between them and they seem to be in love. I really do think that if two people are happy together then, while we might no necessarily approve, we should accept it.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 7 years
woody allen is a nasty nasty man and would know a thing or two about robbing the cradle (in this case the cradle was in his own home)
dreamie-me dreamie-me 7 years
When I was in my early twenties I dated a few guys who were 10-15 years older than me. Looking back on it I felt as if I was taken advantage of because I was young. Now at 27, I still get approached by a mostly older guys. I am more leery of them now especially when they find out I am older than what they expect and look a little disappointed.
MissSophia MissSophia 7 years
I follow the unwritten rule of double your age minus 7 (or half your age plus 7, depending on if you are the older or younger one in the relationship). So Im 21 now, 21x2-7 means the oldest guy I would go for is 35.
neonbee neonbee 7 years
My limit would be 15 years. A lot of women in my family actually married men who are between 10-15 years older. Their relationships seem to work quite well for them. I dated someone who was 5 years older and it was okay.
Kelliegrl Kelliegrl 7 years
I think large age gaps tend to matter less the older people get. The girl in the movie seems a bit too young to date someone as old as Larry David's character mainly b/c it seems like there wouldn't be a lot in common (but I haven't seen the movie, so I might change my mind after watching it). From personal experience, I've dated someone 14 yrs older but I'm also knocking on 30, so for me it has been fine.
blackrose16 blackrose16 7 years
I like older guys but would only go 4-5 years older.... i think that b/c women are naturally more mature it's nice to date an older guy...the last guy i dated was only 2 years older than me but was way too immature...our whole relationship was one of those awkward ones you would have in middle-school, the ironic thing was he broke up w/ me b/c apparently we weren't on the same level of experience....and i agree i was way ahead of him ;) .... so maybe someone a little older would be nice but more than 5 would just be way too creepy!!!!
Amanda-La Amanda-La 7 years
I'd do ten years older. Any older would be too weird.
sourcherry sourcherry 7 years
Exactly what totygoliguez said. I'm also 20 and at this point a guy older than 24 is probably in a very different place in life...
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