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De-Friending an Ex on Facebook

Do or Don't: De-Friending an Ex

If you've ever gotten caught in the trap of Facebook stalking an ex, you know hiding is not enough. Love, after all, is an addiction and its withdrawal can make the sanest people do crazy things.

But de-friending makes far more of a statement than simply not talking — it says you care in the most unpleasant way — and the consequences of formally cutting him out can be terrifying. Is it better to just stop looking when you're ready, or do you need to cut yourself off?

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WritingLikeCrazy WritingLikeCrazy 5 years
Defriend him, ladies. Last summer, an old flame got married...and I found out on Facebook! But what I realized, after running through the streets crying for 3 hours, was what was wrong with life since him, not life without him. Check out my blog post, "I Won't Let You Be Happy, Why Should I?" and let me know what you think: http://tartandsoul.com/2009/09/07/i-wont-let-you-be-happy-why-should-i/
genesisrocks genesisrocks 5 years
Defriend if you know you're going to stalk him or think he might stalk you. But I've had relationships that have ended just because we saw less and less of each other and drifted apart. Really didn't feel the need to defriend those guys.
jocupcake jocupcake 5 years
I'm of the opinion that if you're not actually friends with your ex or your FB friend status is causing issues in a current relationship (yours or his) you might as well just de-friend. Honestly what is the point of staying friends on Facebook if that's not how it is in real life? I guess some might say that de-friending is mean, but I just think it's being honest. Plus I think it's kind of creepy to be sharing stuff with people you never speak to and/or no longer really care to stay in touch with.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
I think it depends how bad the breakup was. If it was a bad ending, I don't see a problem de-friending your ex on Facebook. I'd probably do that. If the split was amicable and less complicated, then it's cool to keep 'em on your friends list.
Food Food 5 years
This is a bit off-topic, but one of the weird repercussions of Facebook is learning that your exes now have serious significant others and/or are married. Whenever I see that kind of stuff, even with someone I'm still friendly with, it's always a little weird for me.
browneyedgirl90 browneyedgirl90 5 years
I think it's a do. I defriended an ex after we had a horrible breakup. I knew he would use facebook as a way to keep tabs on me, and I was past the point of caring what he was up to. Even afterwards, he kept sending me friend requests, so I blocked him, and it still is to this day. Another guy I defriended was because he decided to he wasn't interested in me anymore the day after we slept together. I thought we had more than a fwb situation going on, because he led me to believe so. I wish I hadn't defriended him though. Most of my friends who have gone through breakups use facebook as a way to keep in touch with what their ex was doing (where they were, who they were talking to) and not letting their mind rest, and making the recovery process so much more difficult.
chequettex chequettex 5 years
I'm friends on Facebook with my one major ex from high school. We broke up over ten years ago, before FB was even around, but the breakup was pretty amicable - we remained friends and he even came to my wedding. It was probably better for me that FB wasn't around back then, though, as I was still hung up on him for at least a year or two after, and I definitely would have been a stalker! Nowadays I just like to see what he's up to every once in awhile. He recently got engaged and I'm happy for him!
kismekate kismekate 5 years
I had an ex-bf recently de-friend me and we broke up like 8 years ago. The de-friending occurred right after I posted some pictures of me and my current bf. This then led me to believe that he obviously still has feelings for me - which is something I had NO idea about. I mean...it's really kind of sad actually. But now I know not to let anyone else ever think the same of me and man up and just hide them from my news feed rather than deleting them entirely.
French-Kiss French-Kiss 5 years
I did for the last one - because he really desapointed me a lot, our relation was really bad, and i couldn't get over him because i was full of anger. So, to forget about him (because we don't text or chat or anything) i de-friended him, and now we are absolutely not connected anymore. I'm very fine with it ! However, i still have other ex-boyfriends in my contacts. So i said it depends. The most important thing is to get over them in an adult way, to de-friend is NOT a good way if we don't work hard to get over him aside.
French-Kiss French-Kiss 5 years
I did for the last one - because he really desapointed me a lot, our relation was really bad, and i couldn't get over him because i was full of anger. So, to forget about him (because we don't text or chat or anything) i de-friended him, and now we are absolutely not connected anymore. I'm very fine with it ! However, i still have other ex-boyfriends in my contacts. So i said it depends. The most important thing is to get over them in an adult way, to de-friend is NOT a good way if we don't work hard to get over him aside.
skigurl skigurl 5 years
It depends!! I have never needed to do this, but I've had friends who have, and I seriously think they made the right decision! Stalking was making them nuts.
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