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Dear Poll: Who Should Pay For Bridesmaid Expenses?

I think we can all agree that the worst part of being in a wedding is the expense. Though traditionally wedding attendants pay for their own attire and travel expenses, that particular rule has never made much sense to me. Obviously in some cases, especially when it's a large wedding party, expecting the bride and groom to pay seems unrealistic, but I just don't know how I feel about this one. Proper etiquette aside, who do you think should pay for the bridesmaid expenses?

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RachelRose44 RachelRose44 6 years
I think the bride and groom should pay for everything they can, and if not, have a cheaper wedding! I told my bridesmaids they could shop at any store they could find on http://www.gatheringguide.com/ec/bridal_shops_dresses.html, and I would pay as long as it was under a certain amount. They're the ones doing me the favor, they deserve a present!
keiraz keiraz 7 years
a few gifts ok, but expenses?why?Is it my fault u guys decided to get hitched?LOL
Katzilla Katzilla 7 years
Split the cost. At my brother's wedding the plan was that we'd find a dress and I would pay for half and they would pay for the rest. Although the wedding never turned out (they ended up at the court house for it) it was a good plan and made it less stressful for myself and the other bridesmaids to attend.
emalove emalove 7 years
Not THIS question again...I feel like we've covered this! I think nowadays, it's pretty commonplace for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses and shoes, etc. I've been in 8 weddings and there was only one where the bride paid for my dress, and that's because she was my cousin. If you are the bride and have the money to pay for all your girls' things, then by all means, it's a great thing to do. But in reality...most brides aren't able to do this. And most bridesmaids know about the financial obligations that are involved before agreeing to be part of a wedding party.
awisegal awisegal 7 years
I'm going through this right now and let me tell you 20 years of friendship that has never been on the line is edging closer everyday. I'm my bestfriend's only "attendant" and she wants me to buy the most unflattering (to my figure) dress ever, not too mention that its more expensive than her wedding dress!!! When I suggest that if she paid for it I would wear whatever she wants, her voice deepened and she promptly retorted that the brides are never expected to pay for the bridesmaid dress. What a snatch. $245 for a dress that makes me look like an eagle egg is ludicrus.....and it's not like she's spending a fortune on her dress. bitter? me thinks so. but i do feel better now that i've told someone.....
MrsJigglesworth MrsJigglesworth 7 years
I go into being a BM expecting to pay for myself. I have no problem with that and know it is part of it. I was in a wedding last summer where it was a destination wedding (we paid for our own trip), and it was her 2nd wedding (I was in her 1st, too). She paid for my dress this time, and I thought that was very appropriate and nice. For my wedding I chose relatively inexpensive dresses for my BMs, and paid for $100 toward each girl's dress (I had 4 girls). I also bought their shoes and jewelry. I didn't insist that anyone get their hair or makeup done.
DCRoamer DCRoamer 7 years
The more times I am a bridesmaid (6 so far!), the more it convinces me that when I get married, I am opting out of the whole idea of having numerous bridesmaids in wretched dresses. I'd much rather have one or two close people as my attendants, and let them wear something off the rack and simple that they actually can wear again. No one cares what the bridesmaids wear (except for us catty girls who comment on how awful the dresses are) and I don't want my marriage to be a financial burden to my friends. That said, I do expect when I am asked to be in a wedding that I will be paying for everything myself. If I feel like I can't afford it or am not that good of friends with the bride, I will either speak up or bow out altogher.
runningesq runningesq 7 years
LuckyMe, great minds!
runningesq runningesq 7 years
I had my girls pick a black tea length dress of their choice, so it was up to them how much $$ to spend. They could wear whatever shoes (3 wore black, 2 wore gold). I treated them to a mani/ pedi. If they wanted to get their hair/ make up done, it was up to them, but they had to pay for it... I certainly did not require them to.
Sydney-C Sydney-C 7 years
I was the MOH in my bffs wedding last weekend. I had NO PROBLEM paying for my dress, shoes, bachelorette party, etc. and she paid for our hair to be done. What I DID have a problem with was paying $40 for make-up that looked so hideous I went home and re-did it myself before the wedding, and another $40 for a mani and pedi that were completely ruined by the next day.
melizzle melizzle 7 years
I covered half the cost of the $150 dresses for my girls. Shoes, makeup, hair and jewelry were their own choice. Though I LOVED my bridesmaids, if I could do it again, I would only have one so that she could pick whatever she wanted and be done with it.
Blackwidowchick Blackwidowchick 7 years
I think that it's bs to pay for your own dress. But I only have 1 best friend and she is the only one I will shell out the stupid money for. I think it would be nice for the bride and groom to split the cost with the bridesmaids. I think it is only fair because you are doing them a favor by being a part of their wedding.
saranightly saranightly 7 years
I am going to be in my 3rd and 4th weddings this summer. I've never had a bride pay for our bridesmaid dresses. However, for one of the weddings last summer, she did pay for the out of town bridemaid's hotel rooms and for us to get our hair professionally done. It slightly made up for the $250 dress. The other one, the girl was supposed to get married 2 years earlier and had postponed the wedding. Since we bought $200 dresses for the first time, she picked out $50 Target dresses for the second time around. This summer I've paid $150 on one dress so far, and expect the other to be about the same. Needless to say, I'm not having bridesmaids when I get married (hopefully next spring). My little sister can call herself a "bridesmaid" if she wants to and wear whatever she likes within the color scheme. Cheap, expensive, I don't care.
vmruby vmruby 7 years
For my wedding the girls paid for their own dresses but if for any reason any one of them couldn't afford it, i would have gladly offered to buy it for her.The only thing i decided on was the color. I let the girls pick whatever style flattered their body shape and it also allowed them to have control of how much they spent.Everyone was happy including me. I loved the dresses and they all looked beautiful.
Lil-Maw Lil-Maw 7 years
Gah...my bridesmaids are paying for their dresses, which are $89.99 Canadian and quite cute..... from Sears actually...lol. Shoes, accessories and hair are entirely up to them because I want them to be comfortable. I'm going to have gift baskets done up for each of their hotel rooms, plus I'm getting them all gift certificates to their favourite places as a bridal party gift. So all in all, I think it's a fair deal. But I think it's unfair to stretch a friend's budget to the limit for a dress they'll wear for a few hours and then shove in the back of their closet. http://www.sears.ca/gp/product/B000V0A77K/sr=1-2/qid=1209047280/ref=sr_1_2/102-1633908-6619365?ie=UTF8&searsBrand=core&mqnodeid=396583011
Bookish Bookish 7 years
popgoestheworld- unfortunately, there seem to be a lot of people who feel that entitled. Being a bride changes some people, it's horrible. I've been a bridesmaid twice, and have one more go at it coming up. The first wedding was great- the bride told me to buy a dress in either green or purple. I did, and paid 30 dollars for it. I've worn it easily ten times since that wedding. The second wedding... eh. Was my stepsister. I don't remember the exact figure, but the dress itself was easily more than 200 bucks (which was a lot for me at the time) and was this shiny magenta satin monstrosity, with puffy sleeves and a big bow over the butt. I actually had people tell me that I'd be able to wear it again, and I couldn't believe it- all I wanted to do was burn the darn thing!
aimeeb aimeeb 7 years
kiwi you had to pay 2k?? Good lord I would NEVER do that!
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 7 years
I expect to pay my own way, and like the others, am pleasantly surprised when the bride offers to cover some of the costs. One of my friends bought 10 dresses in various sizes off the sale rack at Ann Taylor for her 8 bridesmaids, and just mailed us the size closest to what she thought we were. The dresses were marked down to $30 a piece! That was awesome. I don't have any friends that would even consider forcing their friends to fork over $500 for a dress so that won't be an issue for me thank god. Honestly, who feels _that_ entitled? If/when I get married, I plan on either doing something similar to my friend and buying something cute off the sale rack, or asking people to wear a black dress or something. If I go nuts and decide I must have expensive matchy-matchy bridesmaids or my wedding will not feel complete, I'll just buy dresses and shoes for everyone. The chances of me having more than a small handful of people stand up with me are pretty low anyway.
Indigo4320 Indigo4320 7 years
I don't know...I think it should be the bride and groom who pay for the dresses. Because I honestly think it's insulting to ask someone to be your bridesmaid and then foot them with the bill. It's like saying hey...I want you to pay to be part of MY special day.
skigurl skigurl 7 years
i would say the attendants pay, because everyone has their own day, and what goes around comes around...your best friends will do it for you and you will do it for them however, i like the ideas of the girls who pay for the makeup and hair for their attendants, or buy the jewellery, or pay for the alterations...it's nice to do a little gesture that makes your attendants know you arent taking advantage of them and "expecting" this of them..that you appreciate their services to you
kia kia 7 years
If the costs are REASONABLE then the attendants. If they are insane then the bride and groom. When we did our destination wedding our guests covered their airfare, that was it. We did lodging, most meals (communal kitchen in the attendant house), and attire.
mia804c mia804c 7 years
I think that if the bride is really picky and wants all her bridesmaids decked out in designer attire, she should foot the bill. If the dresses are affordable for all attendants, then maybe the attendants can buy the dresses and the bride could help out by paying for shoes or jewelry. I've had to buy a couple bridesmaid dresses, but since they were within my price range and the bride was a close friend or family member of mine, I didn't mind paying.
karlotta karlotta 7 years
NOBODY. People should show up and have fun at your wedding, not have to fucking pay for it. Argh. This topic makes me mad every time.
kiwishe kiwishe 7 years
I would say the attendants should pay, HOWEVER when your pretentious friends want you to spend lots of cash on looking beautiful, then they should pay up for some of it. My friends wedding last year was a combination of ceremony at St Patricks and the reception at the Waldorf, and I spent a total of about $2000 on everything. My other friend wants to have her wedding at the Natural History Museum. It's too much to spend, and I hope they don't get remarried in the future.
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