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Dear Poll: Would You Go on a Second Date If You're Only Lukewarm About Him?

Dear Poll: Would You Go on a Second Date If You're Only Lukewarm About Him?


Some people know after just one date if they're interested or not, but then there are others who need some time to really get to know the person. They'll use that second or third date to figure out his quirks and truly understand his sense of humor. I know dating is meant to be fun and adventurous, but they're also about finding a connection and seeing if you'd be a compatible match. So if you're on the dating circuit, I'm curious to know if you go on second dates with guys you're lukewarm about — you know, just in case!

Source


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Join The Conversation
davetherave davetherave 6 years
I dated someone once and we agreed that since something was 'off', we should try again later. We ended up in a long-term relationship and in the end, I said something she took the wrong way and that was that. I saw her at a festival a few years later and she looked right at me, knew who I was and just kept walking. Someone saw me and asked who she was. "Someone I used to know." She heard me, as she was within earshot. When she looked my way, I saw her out of the corner of my eye. Then, she was gone.
aimeeb aimeeb 6 years
Maybe. Sometimes first dates are awkward and full of nerves so if he had potential I'd give it a 2nd chance.
cptnruthless cptnruthless 6 years
It really depends on what your definition of "lukewarm" is. If it's horrible and you have nothing in common, no second date. If it was alright, or you had fun but you're just not sure - go for the second date.
urban-chic-101 urban-chic-101 6 years
A free meal is a free meal.... lol J/K! I think it depends, some guys I would say no to a second date if it was awkward. However, sometimes nerves get in the way of someone's true personality and u need to see if there something more there.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 6 years
I didn't feel a spark with my boyfriend until the 3rd date. I kept going out with him because he was interesting to talk to and we had fun. Glad I did. We're celebrating 4 years together today! Woo hoo.
LilLucyT21 LilLucyT21 6 years
YEah but I don't get that ''who would turn down a free meal'' comment, what is this? the 18th century?!!
jazzytummy jazzytummy 6 years
I think you can know right away if someone is not a person you are interested in dating again, so why waste your time? I have also been in the situation where I did enjoy the guy's company, but just didn't feel "it". You can try and go out a few times, but if the "it" isn't there, it isn't there, no matter how many dates you go on.Those are the guys that end up being good friends, if they are willing to see you in that way. If not, you move on.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 6 years
I think you can know right away if someone is not a person you are interested in dating again, so why waste your time? I have also been in the situation where I did enjoy the guy's company, but just didn't feel "it". You can try and go out a few times, but if the "it" isn't there, it isn't there, no matter how many dates you go on. Those are the guys that end up being good friends, if they are willing to see you in that way. If not, you move on.
Smilesp Smilesp 6 years
Maybe...it would depend on the reason why I was lukewarm about him.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 6 years
Yes, I was lukewarm about my husband. He eventually grew on me.
luna08 luna08 6 years
I did this over the holidays. Met on a blind date & thought he was nice. Accepted the second date and was...lukewarm...on the third, I realized that as nice and successful and theoretically "right" for me as he was, there was no chemistry. But, in this situation, I was kind of getting the same vibe off of him, and he was leaving the country for a couple of weeks shortly after our third date, the perfect "away time" to drift out of dating. So no one got hurt or confused. It doesn't always work out that way.
cplast cplast 6 years
ahh this is exactly my problem! I cant decide how many times i should go out with a guy before i decide whether or not im into it. i have an issue with being too picky so i have been forcing myself to go out on more dates with a guy before deciding i dont want to see him anymore. but in all my past relationships, i have known right away whether or not i want to be with the guy (those butterflies!). does that always happen though? do you ever just develop those butterflies over time? I'm seeing a guy right now who is a perfect match for me on paper, and we have good conversations, and i enjoy hanging out with him but....no butterflies really - i just feel like i could take it or leave it. i dont know what to do!! any advice is appreciated :)
CYL CYL 6 years
Depends on the guy, if I see some potential there and he isn't a total skeeze ball I'll give him a second shot, but for some people you know right away and its a "Eh ...hell no"
Spectra Spectra 6 years
I made that mistake once...I went out on one date with a guy and I really didn't feel any sort of spark with him at all. He was super persistent though, and I ended up dating him for a couple of months before I realized I couldn't be with him anymore...we were just way too different. After that, I was a lot more aware of what I wanted in a guy, so I was usually able to tell after one date whether or not I wanted to continue dating people. After the first date I went on with my husband, I KNEW we'd be a good match and I think we went on at least one date per week every week after that until we were "officially" a couple.
lindssaurussss lindssaurussss 6 years
yes and no. i didnt feel it with these two guys who i met online. awkward silence is a killer. and yes to my boyfriend now who i met through friends.
psterling psterling 6 years
It took several dates for my extra shy hubby to finally warm up but something just kept telling me to hold on.
greenapples1987 greenapples1987 6 years
sure, sometimes during first impressions both parties are nervous. you can't get to really know someone on one date..unless he's a complete jerk or just not your type and you see that off the bat. i think three dates max personally.
kty kty 6 years
if i don't feel any connection on the first date i usually don't go for a second
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 6 years
People are usually pretty nervous on the first date... If he seems nice, why not go on a second?
dm8bri dm8bri 6 years
I answered yes because 1st dates are usually awkward, but it depends on the level of awkwardness.
cfp cfp 6 years
If a guy seems nice/smart/is attractive I'll definitely give him a chance with date two even if sparks weren't necessarily flying when we met. I understand that the first date can be pretty awkward and I do think it takes time to get to know someone anyway, so a couple of dates to decide is fine with me.That being said, of all the first dates I've been on, none of the lukewarm ones ever amounted to anything.
cfp cfp 6 years
If a guy seems nice/smart/is attractive I'll definitely give him a chance with date two even if sparks weren't necessarily flying when we met. I understand that the first date can be pretty awkward and I do think it takes time to get to know someone anyway, so a couple of dates to decide is fine with me. That being said, of all the first dates I've been on, none of the lukewarm ones ever amounted to anything.
Hiding55 Hiding55 6 years
If I don't instantly hit it off with a guy I don't give him a second chance. I pretty much know right away when I like someone so if the first date was bad I won't bother with a second. Even with nervousness mixed in I know in my gut if I want to go on that second date.
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 6 years
I've done so in the past, and it turns out I should have gone with my gut after the first date. :-P
Marci Marci 6 years
Not if the conversation was like pulling teeth. My first date with my fiance was easy and comfortable, and those two things were a big part of why I went out with him a second time. On the second date, I saw more qualities I liked that I didn't see the first time, and even more on the third date. As katiekat95 said, sometimes there's nervousness that gets in the way, so unless you're plain turned off by someone or there's no conversation at all, I'd recommend going on the second date.
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