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Dear Poll: Are You Able to Remain Friends Post Breakup?



In an ideal world, remaining friends post breakup would be easy and painless, but as we all know, that's oftentimes impossible, and commonly only suggested out of guilt. But when it comes to your past, tell me ladies, are you able to maintain a friendship after the romance has expired?

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shimmergirl shimmergirl 7 years
I went through a period of time when I actually took pride in the fact that I remained friends with exes, until someone finally pointed out that they weren't really my friends. That they were just these guys from my past that I cared about at one point, but I no longer talk to because they have moved on with their lives. This realization hurt me really bad, and now I harber resentment every time someone says they are "friends with their exes". I think it is because it feels like the other person is saying that their ex loved them more than my ex loved me because they still communicate regularly. Crazy I know - why should I care about the ratio of ex-love between me and some random person! It makes me want to grill this person until they cave, but I usually try to keep my trap shut. As much as I'd love to get phone calls and sweet emails from my exes, I comfort myself with the fact that it really wouldn't be good for my psyche anyway. Plus, maybe these guys are just players, or lonely, or were never really that serious about their girlfriends in the first place which is why they are able to hang out with them and not feel pain.
shimmergirl shimmergirl 7 years
I went through a period of time when I actually took pride in the fact that I remained friends with exes, until someone finally pointed out that they weren't really my friends. That they were just these guys from my past that I cared about at one point, but I no longer talk to because they have moved on with their lives. This realization hurt me really bad, and now I harber resentment every time someone says they are "friends with their exes". I think it is because it feels like the other person is saying that their ex loved them more than my ex loved me because they still communicate regularly. Crazy I know - why should I care about the ratio of ex-love between me and some random person! It makes me want to grill this person until they cave, but I usually try to keep my trap shut.As much as I'd love to get phone calls and sweet emails from my exes, I comfort myself with the fact that it really wouldn't be good for my psyche anyway. Plus, maybe these guys are just players, or lonely, or were never really that serious about their girlfriends in the first place which is why they are able to hang out with them and not feel pain.
lauraxtc lauraxtc 7 years
I COULD BUT NOT DO IT RIGHT AWAY. BUT I CAN EVENTUALLY.
keiraz keiraz 7 years
VERY rarely, because:If the relation was real and intense, I'll either won't be over him yet or the other way around, hate his guts! lolbut if it was just normal with no drama etc.., sometimes it works..there was this one guy who wouldn't say hello to me anymore so I did not too..otherwise it'd not bother me!
keiraz keiraz 7 years
VERY rarely, because: If the relation was real and intense, I'll either won't be over him yet or the other way around, hate his guts! lol but if it was just normal with no drama etc.., sometimes it works..there was this one guy who wouldn't say hello to me anymore so I did not too..otherwise it'd not bother me!
LoveSarah LoveSarah 7 years
I'm civil with one ex, and we can actually hang out and have a good time together, but we dated when we were like 14, lol! Plus, we only hang out if we are at the same party or something. All of my other exes either don't live in the area anymore or we just don't talk to each other.
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 7 years
One of my closest friends is an ex of mine. However my last ex has done the "Dead to me" thing, we were very good friends before we started dating, and the relationship ruined our friendship.
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 7 years
One of my closest friends is an ex of mine.However my last ex has done the "Dead to me" thing, we were very good friends before we started dating, and the relationship ruined our friendship.
macchiatolove macchiatolove 7 years
one yes and five nos. Some of them are not bad people, and I'm sure we could get along if we had to, but I don't really have any desire to talk with them, or seek them out - since we've lost contact with most of them in the (max 7 and min 1) year since we've separated. It's easier that way, and I feel that it has the potential to hurt any future partners in the long run, so it's not really worth it.
macchiatolove macchiatolove 7 years
one yes and five nos. Some of them are not bad people, and I'm sure we could get along if we had to, but I don't really have any desire to talk with them, or seek them out - since we've lost contact with most of them in the (max 7 and min 1) year since we've separated.It's easier that way, and I feel that it has the potential to hurt any future partners in the long run, so it's not really worth it.
pink-elephant pink-elephant 7 years
No...tried and failed.
pink-elephant pink-elephant 7 years
No...tried and failed.
Smilesp Smilesp 7 years
I'm pretty good friends with a couple of my exes from high school but obviously those were not serious relationships. With the two guys I've had serious relationships with: I was still good friends with one until he recently started dating someone new...now it's just awkward. The other one and I kept hooking up when we were trying to be friends. Now he has a new girlfriend and we have no contact.
Smilesp Smilesp 7 years
I'm pretty good friends with a couple of my exes from high school but obviously those were not serious relationships.With the two guys I've had serious relationships with:I was still good friends with one until he recently started dating someone new...now it's just awkward.The other one and I kept hooking up when we were trying to be friends. Now he has a new girlfriend and we have no contact.
GScott86 GScott86 7 years
Hardest thing to do ever...Honeybrown, my ex and I are actually wondering about the "at the moment part." It's all a mess though, but somehow it's working? Well at least I'm trying to make it work for myself...kinda like the "dead to me thing." It's weird putting love in a box until later, haha...w/e...school time.
0fashionqueen 0fashionqueen 7 years
That all depends on the guy.
0fashionqueen 0fashionqueen 7 years
That all depends on the guy.
Popeye Popeye 7 years
In relationships past no. But my most recent ex and i have been trying to be friends and just friends. It's very hard for me! I agree with sunshinepoint, it does take time... A LOT OF TIME! But it is possible, i think.
KibzeeLovee KibzeeLovee 7 years
In the past I had no problem with being friends, but it was usually my ex who just couldn't hang. With my man now, I can't imagine ever only being friends.
Angelica Angelica 7 years
For the most part, no. I'm a pretty relaxed and level headed person and I've never had a disastrously painful breakup, but I can't seem to stay friends once we've broken up. I've just never had the motivation to, I guess.
crayolasky crayolasky 7 years
Not with all of them, no. If we were friends first, usually. There is only one exception, and he was my first love. We weren't really friends first, but there's no way I could cut him out of my life forever. We were so close, and became friends again just a couple months out of the breakup. It was messy and complicated though, because we tried to have a relationship again and it didn't work. I guess we mostly stay in touch b/c it meant a lot to us at the time. But things have changed and we've both changed and moved on to other things. Most of my other bfs have been pretty casual/not as serious though, so it's not difficult to be friends since there's no emotional baggage.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 7 years
You have to be completely over him, or it never works, because there is always hope that you will get back together. Time away is the only thing that really heals, I think even more than dating another random guy.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 7 years
You have to be completely over him, or it never works, because there is always hope that you will get back together. Time away is the only thing that really heals, I think even more than dating another random guy.
dm8bri dm8bri 7 years
Completely depends. If the relationship and subsequent breakup were awful, then I'm not likely to speak to the guy again. I'm still friends with the majority of my exes - as in, we can chat online or on the phone ocassionally just to see what's up because they were good guys in and out of the relationship. There are 3 I don't talk to and have no desire to, and that's because they either cheated on me or were complete a*holes, or both.
jessr1214 jessr1214 7 years
i agree with what some others have said...only after some time has gone past and depends on the circumstances of the breakup. its funny, i was just talking to one of my friends about this at lunch today. it's tricky for me because either i could see them and still be angry about some things that happened in the past, or see them and get along really well and start wondering if i am really over them. i guess there is only one guy in my experience i have truly been able to be friends with, and our relationship was completely disfunctional so we are both TOTALLY over it. i just had to tell another of my exes the other day to stop texting and calling me because even though we broke up eight years ago when we talk a lot i start to think i'm not over him :-(
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