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DearSugar Needs Your Help: Condom Spillage

Dear Sugar and Wanting a Neater Option Omalee needs your help. How do you deal with the mess after sex?

Dear Sugar,

I usually use condoms with my boyfriend, but now that we've both been tested and I'm on the pill, we've had some issues after he ejaculates. It becomes such a mess right afterwards and while I sleep. I even have to deal with it the following day (I can feel it dripping out of me). I'm wondering, what do other readers do to keep things clean?

—Wanting a Neater Option Omalee


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sxyshandy sxyshandy 8 years
Ditto. No to douche. You definitely should always wash right after to prevent UTI and clean up. Even if you're really sleepy.
Xaede Xaede 8 years
I second the motion for not douching. However, if you feel compelled to do so, DO NOT use scented versions. 4 tablespoons vinegar... yes, vinegar... to one pint water is a good ratio because it mimics the natural acidity of the vagina. You can find premixed versions available in store, but douching is generally not the best option. Also, don't ever douche during your period. Your cervix opens slightly to let menstruate out and you risk flushing the douching solution inside your uterus. You can try washing your hands thoroughly first, then using a finger to sweep out any ejaculate that may be sitting inside. Do this after urinating. You can wear cotton underwear to bed, but it is best to go bare. Wearing a pantyliner the next day helps, too. Tampons aren't the best idea. You don't want to wear one unless absolutely necessary, like on your menses.
Renees3 Renees3 8 years
actually nice driveway you're wrong. It Does help to pee, it's the process of peeing, it's using the muscles to push everything out. Obviously we all know that it's a different hole.
NiceDriveway NiceDriveway 8 years
Um, gals...peeing afterward isn't going to help. It's a different hole, to put it bluntly.
bugness bugness 8 years
I know this post is over a week old... BUT, along with the advice of peeing after sex so that the initial amount can leak out, I have to include that when you're on top and errr ...dismount(?), he's left with a good portion of the mess. And that can come off with tissues or wipes. I don't think too many guys realize what we put up with for condomless sex.
reeeeka reeeeka 8 years
"What's a UTI?" "What's douching?" are you serious?? are we 12? wow... I have no advice as what I do is exactly what's been said 10000 times.
0danielle0 0danielle0 8 years
Pee, and then either shower or stand in front of the sink and use your fingers to scoop it out. Scoop, rinse your fingers, repeat. LOL. Keep a towel close by, and wipe off anything that drips down your legs. Or just have him go on your chest/stomach. Trust me, he won't mind if you ask him to do that instead... :P
lintacious lintacious 8 years
we have some tissues by the bed for clean up. if he does come in me, then i always pee after (i've had an UTI and it WASAWFUL so now i'm anal about always peeing after sex). Wiping up after that usually isn't so bad for me. I'm not sure if he comes in you everytime, but I would suggest he doesn't; mainly because guy's usually like 1) variety and 2) spouting their come on things. AND wiping come off of your stomach or boobs, is a lot less gross than it dripping down your leg. Besides, then it practically requires a together-shower! The cleanliest way (aside from using a condom) is to have him come in your mouth. Then nothing gets anywhere it shouldn't be!
rocknrollmaw rocknrollmaw 8 years
Yup go pee right after and let it drain out.... it works great
clareberrys clareberrys 8 years
ok i agree with the peeing after sex....but you should do that ANYWAY. everytime you have sex you should try to pee afterwards, regardless of whether he ejaculated inside of you or not. also, remember to wipe thoroughly so bacteria doesn't stay in there. my advice would be to not have him cum inside of you. yes it can be fun sometimes, but you have to remember that the pill is not 100% effective and that accidents do happen. so maybe have him do it every once in a while to make it more of a "special" boyfriend usually just goes somewhere on my body....much easier to clean up and no dripping!!!!!
nikodarling nikodarling 8 years
Hmmm this never really bothered me all that much, just part of the whole experience I actually kind of like getting dirty. Do get up and pee afterwards, like other posters have pointed out it helps prevent UTIs. Contract your muscles and squeeze, this can push a fair bit of it out. Put on some cotton undies with a panty liner and you'll be fine.
CJaneTyp CJaneTyp 8 years
Debbie Dee- Douching is TERRIBLE for you, especially on a regular basis. It cleans out the natural bacteria in there and leaves you prone to yeast and other baddies. UTI is a urinary tract infection. Sex can push bacteria into your urethra causing an infection. Peeing after sex flushes out the bacteria.
Kristinh1012 Kristinh1012 8 years
I go to the bathroom after, sometimes take a shower and then I sleep with underwear and a pantie liner. My BF asked me why I always put them on and I explained that he was "leaking" out of me while I slept and he understood. It's really the only thing I found that works. It took me a while to get used to the "leakage". I hated it. The only other thing you could do is have him pull out (I personally think it's better to just deal with it).
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 8 years
Ewwww haha! I know, it happens to me all the time! I usaully pee after sex, but even gettign to the bathroom without it coming down my leg is ahrd. Sometimes I just get him to grab a clean rag or a towel in the dirty clothes so I can make it to the bathroom mess-free.
somethingnice somethingnice 8 years
omg.. TMI, but i love it. =) feels very SATC
Advah Advah 8 years
I'll thrown in my two cents and shout: *don't douch*, unless specifically told to do so by your doctor. (and I'm getting that from my gyn) As some people said, douching affects the vaginal flora, and most of the time creates yeast infections.
yaelatner yaelatner 8 years
p.s. the title of this post is misleading, as Esix pointed out. It has nothing to do with condoms, because spillage occurs when condoms aren't used. Maybe Dearsugar should change the post title, I think it is confusing some people.
yaelatner yaelatner 8 years
Pee right after sex. When sex ends and you are about to stand up to go to the washroom to pee, cup your hand in between your legs, it will prevent the sperm from dripping down your leg and onto the floor. After you pee wipe away excess sperm with a personal cleansing cloth ( I prefer Always brand, make sure they are for "personal" aka vaginal use). As for after drippage, just deal with it. Wear a pantyliner if you must but it is gonna happen, we, as women, tend to leak sometimes. Go to the washroom and wipe off excess whenever needed. IF you are going to sleep right after, try wearing loose boxers or cotton undies.
BShax BShax 8 years
Wow, so much misinformation, maybe Sugar needs to talk to an OB-Gyn before they post some of these things. Douching is very bad for the Ph inside of your uterus and can lead to UTIs (urinary tract infections) and a general problem keeping the Ph level in your uterus. Don't douche if you don't have to. The problem Neater Option is talking about is that for the first time she's realizing that ejaculate doesn't just die or fade away after sex when she's not using a prophylactic. Like menstrual blood, ejaculate comes out slowly, often taking 12-24 hours. If she's having sex every day well, good for her! Invest in panty liners. Realize that what your boyfriend puts in you is going to come out. Some people opt for the pull out, not as a form of birth control (cause the Withdrawal Roulette does not work!) but because some mess on the sheets is preferable to feeling sticky all day! DO NOT USE A TAMPON, that is a sure way to be at high risk for toxic shock!! If she's in a monogamous relationship and they are both free of STDs then her pill or barrier methods are going to have pros (skin on skin contact) and cons (leaky next day.) She needs to discuss it with her partner and explain that as hot as it is to have sex where he ejaculates inside of her, it isn't hot when she's dealing with it.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 8 years
I keep a box of tissues by the bed which we use to clean up a little afterwards. Then I pee, for all the reasons stated above. Then I rinse off in the shower. The next day I typically wear a panty liner to catch anything. It's a little bit of a process compared to just using a condom but it's worth it, imo.
chicaparati17 chicaparati17 8 years
Stand over the toilet for SEVERAL minutes and then jump in the shower dont rush to bed so soon. Stand up for awhile to make sure its all gone! oh and squeeze your muscles as you sit down on the toilet it helps.
OliviaAnn OliviaAnn 8 years
You absolutely must go to the bathroom afterwards. I try and get as much out as I can by sitting there for a few minutes and squeezing those also helps if you kinda bounce on the toilet seat a little to get things moving.
purelove purelove 8 years
And I wouldn't take the advice of douching every time you have sex. It's been shown that it is NOT the best way. The vagina is a self cleaning organ.
purelove purelove 8 years
I agree. Keep a box of tissues by your bed, after sex, resist the urge to fall right asleep (i dont know how people do that anyway) and then get up, go to the restroom, and both of you can clean up.
i-am-elle i-am-elle 8 years
Keep toilet paper or baby wipes by the bed & definitely pee afterwards!
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