DearSugar and Devastated Danny need your help. His girlfriend recently admitted to having an abortion in her previous relationship and he's having a hard time accepting that part of her past. He doesn't want this to negatively impact their relationship, but he's can't seem to let it go. Do you have any advice for him?
My current girlfriend told me that she had an abortion in her previous relationship, and I am left completely crushed. Is this something she should have kept to herself? We promised that we would never keep secrets from one another, but it feels like she just lifted her burden and dropped it right onto my lap. It's not that I don't believe in abortion — I'm actually pro-choice — but I just can't bear to think of her going through such a traumatic experience with another man; a man who didn't support her in her decision, who didn't help her monetarily, and who wasn't there to hold her hand.
I wish I could be the bigger person and accept her past, but I can't seem to get this scenario out of my head — I really wish she hadn't told me. How can I put this behind me and not let it affect our otherwise amazing relationship? — Devastated Danny