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DearSugar Needs Your Help: I'm Ready but He's Not!

DearSugar Needs Your Help: I'm Ready but He's Not!


DearSugar and Next Step Nina need your help. She and her boyfriend are very happy and in love, but she's ready for marriage and he wants to wait another two years before even talking about it! She's not a fan of ultimatums, but she doesn't want to wait around for him. What should she do?

Dear Sugar,

I have been with my boyfriend for over two years, and we live together. I'm 24 and he is 26. We are both about a year into our great jobs and are doing well financially; we are even saving for a down-payment on a house. We've traveled together and visited both our families who seem to like us as a couple. We love each other and really push for each other to be the best we can be.

We talk about how we will raise our children, where we want to travel, where we want to live, and what we want from our relationships. Overall, everything is great, but I'm feeling more and more ready for marriage. I'd like to be engaged and perhaps married in one to two years. When I brought this up, he was a bit nervous and said that he doesn't see himself married for at least two years from now — the exact timeline I have, but while I am ready for an engagement now, he doesn't want to start talking about marriage for another two years, which means more waiting for me. When his family asks him about us, he also sidesteps the topic of marriage. He says he loves me, he says I'm the one for him and he sees us together forever, but the word never comes out of his mouth.

Should I just be patient and wait? If so, for how long? I hate ultimatums, but should I give one anyway? It's been two years and four months since we were official, and I just want to know! — Next Step Nina

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