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DearSugar Needs Your Help: My BFF Is an Egomaniac!


DearSugar and Over Her Heather need your help. Her best friend's ego is out of control, and Heather is fed up! Their conversations are now all one-sided, and she's starting to resent her. How can she break the cycle before her friendship is ruined?

Dear Sugar,

My best friend and I have been, well, best friends since we met in college seven years ago. We've been through a lot together – everything BFFs do. In the past few years she's had a fairly tough time financially and emotionally (let's just say she's had a lot of bad luck), and I have been fortunate enough to be in a position where I can help her — whether it's with gas money, offering her a place to stay, or simply giving her emotional support. She's not just my best friend, she's like my sister.

At the beginning of this year, I moved back to my hometown, and life has been fairly quiet. I'm actually very content for the moment, but I don't do anything social during the week, as all my friends live in the city – I only see them on the weekends. I speak to my best friend a couple of times a week, but we're usually together every weekend. I find myself going to visit her far more than she comes to visit me, and when I do see her (or even just speak to her on the phone) she is always talking about herself! Maybe it's something that I've just started to notice, but it's really starting to get to me. She'll do the obligatory, “So how was your week?” and then as soon as my two minutes are up, she'll tell me about her week blow-by-blow.

I feel like she thinks I don't have any problems or maybe my life isn't interesting enough, but I'm really starting to resent her for it, and I find myself not wanting to talk to her or see her at all. On top of this, she recently got a new boyfriend so you can imagine what most of our (or rather, her) conversations are about. I feel myself closing her off more and more, and when we do speak, I don't even bother to tell her about my day anymore — it's like I'm just there to listen to her. I don't want things to continue this way, but I'm angry with her. I don't know how to handle this, so I would greatly appreciate any views you might have.

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