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DearSugar Needs Your Help: My Fiance Lied to Me

DearSugar and Lied-To Linda need your help. Her long-term boyfriend lied to her about being a virgin, like she is, and now that the truth is out and the trust has been broken, she doesn't know how to proceed. They love each other, but can their relationship survive?


Dear Sugar,

I have been in an amazing relationship for about a year and a half. At the beginning, I was honest with my boyfriend about the fact that I was a virgin, and he responded that he was one too. We ended up taking our relationship to that next stage, and now I find out that he lied to me about his virginity. He told me that his lie was eating him up inside and he loved me too much to continue the facade. My reaction was immediate hurt and disgust. I just couldn't believe this person had been lying to my face for so long! He said that he realizes this is not going be fixed overnight and that trust was broken. We had talked about moving in together, marriage, and kids, but everything has changed now.

I explained to him that when you're in a relationship, you owe it to that person to be honest about everything, including their sexual history. He's completely admitted that he's in the wrong, and he tells me that he loves me and is willing to do whatever it takes to make our relationship work, but I'm torn. What if there are other lies out there that I don't know about? Do you think that I am over-analyzing this situation too much? I know that he is hurting as much as I am, but I just don't know how to move past this awkwardness. I know that this can either ruin our relationship or bring us closer as a couple, so any advice would be a tremendous help.

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