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DearSugar Needs your Help: Am I Crossing the Line?

DearSugar and The Wife of a Marine Mary need your help. Her husband is off saving lives in the war in Iraq while she waits, hoping her new husband is safe and out of harms way. She wants him to leave the ground forces work in another department but she doesn't want him to resent her for being the reason why he can't fulfill his life long dream.

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Dear Sugar--
I am a newlywed and my husband is a Marine which is incredible stressful on both our lives for obvious reasons. His job is very important and it involves saving people's lives (I don't want to share too much to protect him). I want to ask him to change his MOS (Military Occupation Skill- his job) and train for another, less dangerous position, still in the military, but is that selfish of me?

He's the best at what he does and the other guys wouldn't know what to do without him, but this much stress and all my worrying is not good for me or our relationship. I knew before getting married that he has a dangerous job, but it's come to the point where I want him to choose his job or his wife -- I simply can't handle this intense worry I constantly feel.

I love him and I want him to grow old with me, but at the same time, I'm sure he'd help save many more lives in Iraq if he stayed with this unit. I don't want more marines dying, but I don't want my husband to be killed either. What should I do? I want to support his dream but it is so incredibly hard to do so when I selfishly want him to be safe.


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