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DearSugar Needs your Help: Should I Stop Accepting his Gifts?

DearSugar and Greedy Gretta need your help. An older man has been showering her with expensive lunches and flowers yet has never made any advances on her - should she assume that they really are just friends, or should she vocalize her concerns and implement some ground rules?


Dear Sugar--

I went out one night with some girlfriends and we met this really nice, charming older man. He took a liking to me specificially and ended up paying for our entire night out (it wasn't cheap, let me tell you). We have since gone out to lunch a few times and he always picks up the tab despite my offering to pay. Last week, after one of our lunches, I came back to work to see an enormous bouquet of flowers on my desk from him, and the card read, "Thank you for yet another wonderful afternoon." I was extremely flattered but then started to feel really uncomfortable with our relationship.

Now I know what you are all thinking, he wants to get into my pants, I am using him for his money, but that's not the case at all - he has never once made a move on me, we enjoy each other's company, we laugh together, have intelligent conversations about art and politics, and we seem to be on the same page about life, but now I am starting to think he wants more from me. But then again, what if I am wrong? What if he generally likes my company and doesn't want anything more? Should I stop seeing him? Should I tell him the flowers made me feel uncomfortable? I am torn because I don't want to accuse him of being interested in me if he isn't and then I will feel like the stupid one. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? HELP!

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