This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!
My bf has a really close female friend who he used to have feelings for until he met me. I didn't mind that and I thought she was a cool girl to become friends with. I was excited that I made a new friend quickly and I feel a connection with. As I got to know her more, I realized she's not who she makes herself out to be. At one point, she tried to pull me away from my bf when we hungout in a big group when my bf and I were in the courting stage. I thought maybe she just wanted to have some girl time with me, but my bf knew better. She was using me to socialize with other people because she didn't want to be alone knowing that my bf at the time was trying to get to know me. And the second time she made this smart-ass comment about how my bf loves hanging out with her more than anyone else. At that point, I knew that she had deceived me. She was not going to be my new friend.
So all that plus the fact that my bf realized she was never exactly a good friend to him i.e. using him for money constantly made me dislike her even more. And he knows all these things about her, he continues to invite her to places (other people are invited too). And obviously, she is two-faced and I cannot stand it. It really bothers me especially since I have had a few two-faced friendships before and it really hurts. He says he wants to distance himself on his own terms, slowly.
I told him that he cannot invite her to any more places and he didn't like it that I forced him to but he agreed he wouldn't anymore. I have never issued an ultimatum or demanded something like this from a relationship. And I know ultimatums backfire. I just want to tell my boyfriend, wake up and smell the coffee. So now, I'm thinking, is he going to resent me because I forced him to do this? He said no one has ever forced him to do something like this before. So was it a good idea? I kinda feel like I want to take it back but I know this is something that needs to be done now especially know what my bf and I know now.
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