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Detectives Make Online Dating Safer

Would You Hire an Online Dating Detective?

When you meet a potential mate over the Internet, you never really know who you may be talking to, and whether the details in his profile are fact or fiction. But it's one thing to find out a guy rounded up in the height category, and it's another to find out he has, say, a warrant out for his arrest. That's where online dating detectives come in.

For a fee, sites like My Match Checker offer background checks on the fellas you meet online so you can feel safer before meeting them in person. But as The New York Times points out, these tactics aren't perfect, and worse, they can give you a false sense of security. I would say if the cost of a background check was minimal enough, something is better than nothing when meeting someone who hasn't been vetted by mutual friends and family, as long as your guard doesn't go out the window. But what do you think? Would you shell out the dough to get the lowdown on a guy you met online? Or do you think common sense precautionary measures — i.e. meeting in well-lit, public places — and intuition are enough to feel safe? And share your reasoning in the comments!

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Join The Conversation
Gators0913 Gators0913 5 years
I wouldn't hire a detective either. I met my boyfriend online and went on a few dates with guys I'd met online before we started dating. I still say that it's no less safe than meeting a guy in a bar or at the gym or at the grocery store and going on a date with them. Any time I went out with a new guy I would tell my roommate and one or two other people where I was going, when I would check in, and as much information as I had about the guy (first and last name minimum, usually also email address, phone number, etc.). I consider myself a pretty paranoid person generally -- not necessarily in a crazy way, more in an overly safe way -- so it always surprises me when I hear people talking about the "dangers" of online dating. I only think it's more dangerous than day-to-day life if you're an idiot.
totygoliguez totygoliguez 5 years
I'm not a fan of online dating and hopefully won't have to do it.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 5 years
I would say no. I used to party and it wouldn't be fair for a man to judge me based on my past without getting to know me. I guess I would only want to know if he had any violent felonies, anything else is irrelevant. Though I have a feeling a lot of women would pass up some quality men because of some petty misdemeanors. I guess that's their loss, more men for me!
kimmieb124 kimmieb124 5 years
I tried online dating before I met my husband and married him. From my dabbling in it, I think the best way to go is to meet the person in pulic as soon as possible. The biggest problem was having fun conversations online and then meeting in person and having zero chemistry. I wouldn't hire someone to do a background check because I never would have hired a detective to check up on some dude I met at a bar or through work or school either and you're probably just as likely to meet a shady character in those ways as you are online. I tend to trust my intuition and being face to face with someone goes a long way to that end, and so I think the sooner you can get face to face with someone the better.
LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 5 years
I would have voted "yes" several years ago. But, I gave up the online dating, so now it doesn't matter.
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