College is supposed to open our minds, but for some random guy, it only confirmed a few stereotypes. Have you encountered any of these classroom personalities? Anyone overlooked? Don't raise your hand, be ahead of the class and shout out your answer in a comment to us.
Intellectual Superhero is neither an intellectual nor a superhero, but don’t tell him that!
Fashion Monger is on the bleeding edge of fashion! Apparently, it’s "hip" and "with it" to pay 500 dollars for jeans that were hand stitched by the hardworking people of Taiwan. And, as we all know, 50 dollars for a silk-screened t-shirt is a completely reasonable price, as long as it was designed by an gay Italian man.
The Agenda Assailer has (surprise!) an agenda to push on everyone else. Here’s an example from a history class:
Professor: Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence.
AA: How can you even SAY that?!?!?!?! He owned slaves!!!
Professor: Well, yes. But he still wrote it.
AA: Well then he’s a hypocrite and we should THROW OUT the Declaration of Independence!!!
Johnny Frat Boy - or - Sally Sorority Chick
While there’s certainly nothing wrong with being in a Greek organization, some people take their involvement in these groups a little too seriously. These are the people who can’t go 2 consecutive days without wearing their shirts from some drinking party they went to last weekend.
Study Nazi is in school for one reason: to get good grades. Unfortunately for Study Nazi, he’s not that bright and he struggles with his classes. That doesn’t stop him from letting everyone know how long he studied for that 5 question quiz though.
The Sociable Slacker
This is the guy who went out of his way to talk to you on the first day. He even suggested trading phone numbers just in case you needed help. Fast forward to the second week of class - he's not there. Same goes for all the classes until right before the midterm when you get a call. "Hey man, what's up? How's it going? Oh yeah, I missed the last class can I borrow all your notes and photocopy them?"
CEO Junior the Third
Born to wealth and privilege and toting an ego the size of Australia, CEO Jr. III will rarely be encountered outside of econ, business and business-related courses (like the lower level computer sciences). Success is what he's aiming for, and he'll probably get there, but only through his dad’s business connections.
Silent Foreign Curve Destroyer
Silent Foreign Curve Destroyer has nothing better to do than study. While the average of the rest of the class is a respectable 45%, Silent Foreign Curve Destroyer has approximately a 1351% in the course, thereby totally destroying any chance you had of passing the class.
The Major Elitist is generally some type of science or engineering major who looks down on anyone who might even think about getting a humanities or business degree. After all, we all know that the only thing that’s important is science. Besides, anyone can get a liberal arts degree!
The Non-Conformist Conformist is an interesting species. While he tries to "fight the man," he is unable to do so without conforming to another group. The Non-Conformist Conformist can be easily identified by his Rage Against the Machine or Che Guevara t-shirt and dark green corduroy pants. He’ll use a condescending tone of voice because he’s better than little sheeple like you.
45 Year Old College Student with Two Kids
The 45 Year Old College Student has returned to school in an attempt to better her life, which is a great endeavor, but the 45-year-old college student with two kids must write down every word the professor says. This will cause the class to be peppered with calls of "can you repeat that" approximately every 0.23 seconds. Second, she must ask the most obvious questions, preferably ones the professor has already answered. Here’s an example:
Professor: So, in 1776 the Declaration of Independence was written.
Old student: Okay, let me make sure I’m writing this down correctly. The Declaration of Independence was written in 1776, right?
Professor: 30 seconds of blank stare followed by: Yes.