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Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Dear Sugar
My boyfriend travels for work and is gone often. His traveling doesn't really bother me since we talk all the time on the phone and communicate over e-mail whenever we can. My co-workers and friends seem to have more of a problem with my boyfriend's schedule than I do and it is starting to irritate me.

They always ask me if I am sad and if I miss him and they look at me with pity. I also feel like they judge our relationship as unstable and I don't think it's fair. I'm tired of defending my relationship with my boyfriend and having people feel sorry for me. What can I say to them to make them finally understand that we are happy? Satisfied Cecelia

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Satisfied Cecilia
This your relationship, not theirs. Many content couples have partners that travel for a living and the distance does not discredit their love for one another. If you feel secure in your relationship, that's all that really matters.

Try your best to zone out other people's negativity. Sometimes people displace their own insecurities onto others to make themselves feel better. When your co-workers or friends give you a hard time, simply tell them that you are very happy with the arrangement you have. Tell them that although it may not feel right for them, it works great for you! Hopefully that will get them off of your back.

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KeynaLuver KeynaLuver 10 years
Coming from the wife of a man who was traveling when we got married to working together all day/everyday: The distance keeps your relationship fresh and new. Ask them the last time they were excited about seeing their significant other simply to tell them the tiny life details that you don't get to share with them everyday. Or when was the last time they got that tingly sensation just seeing the person they love across the room doing normal everyday things. I suppose they might stop giving you such a hard time... ~Love like you've never been hurt.~
Midnightkiss4u09 Midnightkiss4u09 10 years
I wouldn't worry about what others think. If your husband has to travel with his job, I think its fine. I'm sure you two make up for it when he is home :)
BeachBarbie BeachBarbie 10 years
Good advice, DearSugar and Jen76.
jennifer76 jennifer76 10 years
I can totally sympathize with you. People can't understand that because something doesn't seem ideal to *them* it doesn't mean its not just fine for you. You won't convince them differently. All you can do is smile and nod and say we're fine and you're proud of what he does and thank them for their concern.
Fancy04 Fancy04 10 years
This wouldn't work for me. Distance is something we don't want, I'm thankful we are together everyday.
My-Opinion My-Opinion 10 years
Tell them if you were the kind of person who couldn't handle a relationship like the one you're in. You would've never gotten into it., OR 'Drop it already, girls this is really none of your business, unless you see me sobbing, please don't ask me if I'm okay or sad'.......
ishtar ishtar 10 years
really? i have experienced the opposite ie because we are long distance, we must be solid (to survive it)
Daisy6264 Daisy6264 10 years
I would be sad. Distance from my b/f would make us both miserable.
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