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Dividing Friends After a Breakup

Group Therapy: Asking Friends to Choose Between Me and My Ex?

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Well, my exboyfriend and I have been broken up for over a year. We have a lot of mutual friends together. We dated for 2 years and I broke up with him because of many problems and I believed he was still talking to his ex inappropriately behind my back. I'll just call her "the other woman."

So recently, I've been told "the other woman" started hanging out with friends and I have seen her in pictures. I have never met her before. My ex, also has a new girlfriend and he's bringing her along since he's moving back here with her. I think she wanted to be with him as well when were still together. Yeah, he's quite the ladies man.

Only one of our many mutual friends know why we broke up, but I'm not sure what I should do. I feel kinda hurt when I see these women and him there. I want to attend the events we go to, but I feel kinda hurt when I see them all there. I don't want to make my friends choose sides, and I don't want to abandon my friends because of those people.  I was told that I am the life of the party so they want me there. So what should I do?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Join The Conversation
Miss-Senorita Miss-Senorita 5 years
Keep it civil you guys been broke up a year don't let his assholish behavior affect you.
VioletBloom VioletBloom 5 years
I don't think she is trying to make her friends choose sides. If you want to still hang out with your friends you are going to have to deal with it. The above posters are right. But of course that is easier said than done. Maybe making new friends and hanging out with different crowds?
WideEyes WideEyes 5 years
Its not fair making friends decide, and i agree with the first comment, you guys broke up a year ago and maybe its time to let go. You should see yourself for the good person you are, love yourself and keep going forward, and if those women are there, well it isnt their fault is it? they probably only know his side, and well men tend to "decorate" the truth, he probably said what is convinient, well, making new friends never killed someone, so maybe you should give this girls a try, i mean who knows, you can find two great friends.... well thats my advice.
WideEyes WideEyes 5 years
Its not fair making friends decide, and i agree with the first comment, you guys broke up a year ago and maybe its time to let go. You should see yourself for the good person you are, love yourself and keep going forward, and if those women are there, well it isnt their fault is it? they probably only know his side, and well men tend to "decorate" the truth, he probably said what is convinient, well, making new friends never killed someone, so maybe you should give this girls a try, i mean who knows, you can find two great friends.... well thats my advice.
missmaryb missmaryb 5 years
I agree. I said in another post (to someone else), if you let him control your life now he wins. You broke up, it's been a long time. Since you're not with him, don't let him be in charge of any aspect of your life now. Put your chin up and go have a good time. Wish him well, forgive him and yourself for whatever went wrong and move on.
totygoliguez totygoliguez 5 years
Look. If you want to go, you should. You broke up over a year ago. It's time to let go. I know it's hard when you loved someone to move on, but remember, you broke up because you were incompatible. Don't let him control your life. If you haven't already, have you think about dating again? Live your life and don't think about him.
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