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Do Tell: Have You Ever Asked Him Out?

E. Jean advises against it, but I still think it's OK to ask a man out on a date. Even though I've never done it myself, I can appreciate a powerful woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to take matters into her own hands. Sure, some guys like the chase, but there are others out there that get turned on by an aggressive woman who likes to make the first move. As you all know, I'm old-fashioned in most of my values, but not on this one so do tell ladies, what's your take on the subject? Is it your style to ask a guy out? Have you ever done it before?

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Silverlining10 Silverlining10 8 years
A guy once told me to call him and gave me his number. When I finally did, he said he found it sexy I called him first. I didn't think I was asking him out, but taking him up on his offer to go out for drinks. Other than that, I've never asked a guy out because I'm usually too shy.
booberry booberry 8 years
Yea I often approach a guy I want to meet or ask a guy out. I like being the "agressor" or the initiator because I like things on my terms. This has never been negative for me- I think this puts guys at ease sometimes. People are people and if you are interested in them- ask them out. They will most likely say yes!
jJuliet jJuliet 8 years
I was always friends with the guys that I dated before we went out on dates, and we were just mutually attracted to each other. It wasn't like one person "approached" the other person. The only time I was pursued by a guy was in high school, and we went on one or two dates. I wasn't attracted to him at all--we had nothing in common, and he was one of the dullest people I have ever met. After the initial date, he considered me his "girlfriend". He would spontaneously show up and persistently offer to take me out (or just say: guess what, we're going out)! I tried to hint that I wasn't interested, but finally had to explicitly say, "NO. I AM NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" It's an experience that I would never want to repeat, and I sometimes wonder if that's how dates work for other women when guys pursue them.
jJuliet jJuliet 8 years
I was always friends with the guys that I dated before we went out on dates, and we were just mutually attracted to each other. It wasn't like one person "approached" the other person. The only time I was pursued by a guy was in high school, and we went on one or two dates. I wasn't attracted to him at all--we had nothing in common, and he was one of the dullest people I have ever met. After the initial date, he considered me his "girlfriend". He would spontaneously show up and persistently offer to take me out (or just say: guess what, we're going out)! I tried to hint that I wasn't interested, but finally had to explicitly say, "NO. I AM NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" It's an experience that I would never want to repeat, and I sometimes wonder if that's how dates work for other women when guys pursue them.
Jacinthe Jacinthe 8 years
I've never asked a guy out, but that's because I've always been very shy and have a touch of social anxiety. I don't disapprove of the woman being the aggressor. My mother was - both in asking my father out on their first date, and proposing marriage.
Slightly-Mad Slightly-Mad 8 years
I like asking guys out, they've always liked it too...
MisterPinkNoTip MisterPinkNoTip 8 years
I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but I personally would be too nervous. I wish I had the guts.
javsmav javsmav 8 years
I am on the shy side, so usually don't because I'm afraid of rejection, but I made the first move with my current boyfriend and we've been together 2 years. If you're interested, go for it. There are ways to do it without coming across as "aggressive"--whatever that means.
michelle-c42934 michelle-c42934 8 years
I never had and I don't think I ever would, I'm too timid and traditional.
MissMeow MissMeow 8 years
I've asked one guy on a date, and I don't think I'll ever do it again. I prefer being pursued. Not that it was really a bad experience, the guy said yes and we went out and had fun, there just didn't end up being alot of chemistry there.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
Hell no. Men pursue me, not the other way around. However, I've figuratively dropped a hankerchief. ;)
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
Hell no. Men pursue me, not the other way around.However, I've figuratively dropped a hankerchief. ;)
bbkf bbkf 8 years
Of course. None of them seemed to mind.
sanriano sanriano 8 years
i agree with sun_sun! i like to let the guy do all the chasing. it's nice to be sought after. AND u get to be the one in control as u will be making the decision.
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 8 years
i would never i prefer to be pursued, and the whole hard to get thing just makes things steamier... =)
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 8 years
i would neveri prefer to be pursued, and the whole hard to get thing just makes things steamier... =)
CupcakeGal10 CupcakeGal10 8 years
I come from a very feminist family and went to an all-women's university, so all my life I've felt that it is my right to pursue the things and people that I want independently and by myself. Unfortunately, a woman making the first move (while a wonderful concept) does not work well in the real world, at least from my experience. I've tried it twice, both with unfavorable results and icky dates. Obviously there are always various factors contributing to failed crushes/relationships, but of the many friends/acquaintances I have I only know of ONE relationship that worked out where the woman made the first move. Believe me, I wish it was different. :)
CupcakeGal10 CupcakeGal10 8 years
I come from a very feminist family and went to an all-women's university, so all my life I've felt that it is my right to pursue the things and people that I want independently and by myself. Unfortunately, a woman making the first move (while a wonderful concept) does not work well in the real world, at least from my experience. I've tried it twice, both with unfavorable results and icky dates. Obviously there are always various factors contributing to failed crushes/relationships, but of the many friends/acquaintances I have I only know of ONE relationship that worked out where the woman made the first move.Believe me, I wish it was different. :)
Berlin Berlin 8 years
Wow, most men i know love it! I actually asked my boyfriend of 3 years out...after I turned him down, b/c I was too nervous to say yes lol, after just getting out of a relationship. Then a year later after a bit of text flirting and IM chats, I asked him out on the day after Valentines Day, and couldn't have been happier that I did (either one of us!). A guy would only NOT like it if he wasn't interested :) Same as us
Berlin Berlin 8 years
Wow, most men i know love it! I actually asked my boyfriend of 3 years out...after I turned him down, b/c I was too nervous to say yes lol, after just getting out of a relationship. Then a year later after a bit of text flirting and IM chats, I asked him out on the day after Valentines Day, and couldn't have been happier that I did (either one of us!). A guy would only NOT like it if he wasn't interested :) Same as us
Jude-C Jude-C 8 years
Of courses. I'm very picky, and have a weird thing about almost never liking a man who approaches me. Especially out of the blue, like in the supermarket or wherever--that's always annoyed me. Asking out the guys that I wanted to go out with always ensured that I was actually going out with the ones I wanted to see.I've never met a guy who didn't like it.
Jude-C Jude-C 8 years
Of courses. I'm very picky, and have a weird thing about almost never liking a man who approaches me. Especially out of the blue, like in the supermarket or wherever--that's always annoyed me. Asking out the guys that I wanted to go out with always ensured that I was actually going out with the ones I wanted to see. I've never met a guy who didn't like it.
cvandoorn cvandoorn 8 years
I suggest grabbing a bite to eat only if the guy is sending major signals.
hotstuff hotstuff 8 years
"I've done it before and NO most of them DON'T like it!" Thank you for speaking the truth. While this may work once in a blue moon and men will say they are flattered and like aggressive women, THEY LIE! I think there is still a huge majority of men who like to be the one doing the chase. Is it right, NO but it's the weird ways of the world I guess. Especially considering a lot of men don't have the balls to approach a woman. I've even seen polls from women who date online and say that they get rejected eventually because they initiated contact, so they sit back hoping someone will contact them first. Ugh, no wonder there are so many matchmakers popping up recently. The dating game is just too complex!
hotstuff hotstuff 8 years
"I've done it before and NO most of them DON'T like it!"Thank you for speaking the truth. While this may work once in a blue moon and men will say they are flattered and like aggressive women, THEY LIE! I think there is still a huge majority of men who like to be the one doing the chase. Is it right, NO but it's the weird ways of the world I guess. Especially considering a lot of men don't have the balls to approach a woman. I've even seen polls from women who date online and say that they get rejected eventually because they initiated contact, so they sit back hoping someone will contact them first. Ugh, no wonder there are so many matchmakers popping up recently. The dating game is just too complex!
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