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Do Tell: Have You Ever Been Jealous of a Friend's Engagement?

Do Tell: Have You Ever Been Jealous of a Friend's Engagement?

When you're in a relationship and ready to take that next step, waiting for him to get down on bended knee can feel like an eternity. But if a friend gets engaged before you, it can make the waiting game even more unbearable. I've never been in the engagement race before, and while I know it's not about who gets a ring first, I do know that jealousy can easily get the best of you. One would expect someone's first reaction to a friend's engagement to be that of excitement and joy, but if you're waiting in the wings for your time to shine that reaction could be resentment instead. Of course you can't help how you feel, so do tell, have you ever been secretly disappointed by your friend getting engaged before you?

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Angel1980 Angel1980 6 years
I thought I was going to be proposed to recently however I completely got the wrong end of the stick and was disappointed. I got back to work to find that one of my dear friends had proposed to his girlfriend and are now engaged. I'm really happy for them but I feel a bit sad, rather than jealous .. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and he's said that he definitely wants to marry me, have children with me but he's just not ready. I guess I just don't understand how he knows he wants to marry me and have a family with me but he can't ask yet .. we've been living together for over two years and been together for four. We're both 29 and I can almost hear my clock ticking.
uptownfitchick uptownfitchick 7 years
I've never been the jealous type until the past year. i did feel jealous when someone got engaged. I've been with my bf for 3 years now and all of a sudden everyone I knew got a bf and got engaged! Embarrassed to say I did have that feeling.
southerngal4 southerngal4 7 years
I am currently going through this. My best friend just got engaged, and I have been an emotional roller coaster. Of course deep down I am so happy for her, but I am bitter. I am not going to lie. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. Whenever "wedding" talks can up between my friend and I, she would always start to help brainstorm wedding ideas for my wedding. Then she got a boyfriend and even then all wedding conversations were only about planning my bf and I's wedding. I always told her that her bf and her (of 1.5 years) would be engaged and she could start playing "what if" too. But she always brushed this off claiming that wasn't happening anytime soon. So while I wait for my official engagement (we decided we are ready, it is just about him asking) my friend out of the blue gets engaged. It is horrible. On top of that, we have a lot of the same styles/tastes and all the ideas I had thought about for my wedding are coming up for hers. I just don't know how to balance trying to be a great, supportive, and loving friend with the jealousy/bitterness I feel towards the situation. The timing sucks. Everyone is different and my bf and I have our own plan that works for us, I just need some advice on how to curb these new emotions.
southerngal4 southerngal4 7 years
I am currently going through this. My best friend just got engaged, and I have been an emotional roller coaster. Of course deep down I am so happy for her, but I am bitter. I am not going to lie.I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. Whenever "wedding" talks can up between my friend and I, she would always start to help brainstorm wedding ideas for my wedding. Then she got a boyfriend and even then all wedding conversations were only about planning my bf and I's wedding. I always told her that her bf and her (of 1.5 years) would be engaged and she could start playing "what if" too. But she always brushed this off claiming that wasn't happening anytime soon.So while I wait for my official engagement (we decided we are ready, it is just about him asking) my friend out of the blue gets engaged.It is horrible. On top of that, we have a lot of the same styles/tastes and all the ideas I had thought about for my wedding are coming up for hers. I just don't know how to balance trying to be a great, supportive, and loving friend with the jealousy/bitterness I feel towards the situation. The timing sucks.Everyone is different and my bf and I have our own plan that works for us, I just need some advice on how to curb these new emotions.
LadyLiLa83 LadyLiLa83 7 years
I have, but only because she is doing a big wedding. We didn't do anything big at all, so I'm a little regretful on that, but I'm super excited for my friend anyway!
frenchie77 frenchie77 7 years
I did - because I wanted so badly to get married but we were waiting until we could have financial stability, and it just was SO hard to see my friends get engaged - I was happy for them, but wished it was me.
oceanluv oceanluv 7 years
None of my friends have been engaged yet but my twin brother just got engaged and I'm not jealous as much as shocked and sort of weirded out - it's one of those my whole family always thought I'd get married first and no one thought he'd ever get married. Different with siblings than friends though I suppose.
Melo-D Melo-D 7 years
Bry, that is really sad. I absolutely love when my friend's are engaged or married. I freaked out when my bestie called with the news. I couldn't wait to see her (I was at college at the time). This year alone 2 of my girls got married. Another one is planning. I'm totally excited. I love to help plan the wedding and attending engagement parties and bridal showers. We know how to keep it SPICY! :lol:
BryPouncy BryPouncy 7 years
Two of my best friends completely stopped talking to me after I got engaged.
jclarev jclarev 7 years
A couple of years ago my best friend got engaged and I was living with a guy, who was never going to marry me and I was insanely jealous. But she called off the engagement and I moved out and by the time she got married to a great guy, I was really happy for her. I think it's all about where you are in your life, if you are happy then you can be happy for other people.
honeysugar28 honeysugar28 7 years
Nope I was very happy and excited for my friends who got engaged before I did.
Asia84 Asia84 7 years
no...the first thought is me planning their wedding.all of my close friends know this...so the next thing is always planning and color schemes.i don't feel jealous of them, i'm happy for them.most of them are a bit older, so of course they are settling down or getting remarried.for me, i'm not trying to get married right now.
Asia84 Asia84 7 years
no...the first thought is me planning their wedding. all of my close friends know this...so the next thing is always planning and color schemes. i don't feel jealous of them, i'm happy for them. most of them are a bit older, so of course they are settling down or getting remarried. for me, i'm not trying to get married right now.
javsmav javsmav 7 years
"its one of the most exciting times of a girl's life" god, i hope my life isn't that boring that getting engaged would be a highlight. I was once--but not so much because my friend was engaged but that she was marrying this guy that my ex & I would hang out with. We were kind of the serious couple, relationship-wise, and they are a really fun, but odd couple. Anyway, we loved them, but it was kind of assumed that they wouldn't make it while we were talking about marriage. And then my ex & I broke up after 2 years and 4 years after our friends started dating they got engaged. I was more upset that I screwed up my relationship and her engagement party just made me think about my failure. Marriage scares the hell out of me--I will delay it as long as possible.
javsmav javsmav 7 years
"its one of the most exciting times of a girl's life" god, i hope my life isn't that boring that getting engaged would be a highlight. I was once--but not so much because my friend was engaged but that she was marrying this guy that my ex & I would hang out with. We were kind of the serious couple, relationship-wise, and they are a really fun, but odd couple. Anyway, we loved them, but it was kind of assumed that they wouldn't make it while we were talking about marriage. And then my ex & I broke up after 2 years and 4 years after our friends started dating they got engaged. I was more upset that I screwed up my relationship and her engagement party just made me think about my failure. Marriage scares the hell out of me--I will delay it as long as possible.
Marci Marci 7 years
I can't say I ever felt disappointed, but I did feel a twinge of envy a few times when friends were meeting the right guy and there I was, perpetually single. I was always happy for them, but unhappy for myself. :D
sassy_chick sassy_chick 7 years
A little jealousy on the inside is probably pretty normal... but it's when it starts interfering with the happiness of the friend that a problem arises. And for the record, not all people who are engaged want to inundate their friends with planning details. I only report when something big has been decided, and it's to the two people who want to know.
MsTwirlySkirts MsTwirlySkirts 7 years
no way! its one of the most exciting times of a girl's life - and she should know you have nothing except happiness for her!
partysugar partysugar 7 years
Being single, I have gotten a little jealous before.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
No, I'm not the jealous type. I'm happy when good things happen for my friends.
courtneyh courtneyh 7 years
My room mate just got engaged over the summer. I couldn't be happier for her!!!!
Smilesp Smilesp 7 years
Most of my close friends are engaged and one is newly married. I currently am not in a relationship and haven't had the best luck in the past. I am truly happy for them and they don't wear me out with details. I wouldn't say I am necessarily jealous of them, I just wish I had the same happiness that they have.
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