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Do Tell: How Has Your Relationship Changed With Your Parents?



Since we can't choose our parents, we have to take their good with their bad. And just like with any other relationship, age, maturity, and time can affect the way we interact with them. I know the relationship I have with my parents has changed numerous times over the years, so do tell, how has yours evolved?

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dikke-kus dikke-kus 6 years
I fall into some sort of a time trap with my mom and dad. I was closer when I was younger and they raised me. Then slowly we drifted apart as I got older. Often I see this with other younger people as well. When they say they are close I notice they are often in thier early twenties. I felt my mother and maybe others wash thier hands of being a parent when thier children go to school or get married. Plus then also if you find your own career path and start your own family this can create a distance as well. Now twenty years later and many years of living in distant cities my mom wonders why I don't call every week. I respect my parents for everything they did, but I no longer feel the same closeness as when I was a child.
Jacinthe Jacinthe 7 years
My relationship with my mom improved tenfold as soon as I moved out of the house for good my junior year of college. Our personalities are just far too similar - we're both loud, very opinionated, and have a short temper, so when there's a disagreement, we explode at each other... which makes for difficult times living under the same roof.My relationship with my dad hasn't change much recently. Once I hit 18 and started college my parents were of the opinion that I was an adult and my decisions were mine and mine alone to make. I'm a lot luckier in that respect than many other people I know at school.
Jacinthe Jacinthe 7 years
My relationship with my mom improved tenfold as soon as I moved out of the house for good my junior year of college. Our personalities are just far too similar - we're both loud, very opinionated, and have a short temper, so when there's a disagreement, we explode at each other... which makes for difficult times living under the same roof. My relationship with my dad hasn't change much recently. Once I hit 18 and started college my parents were of the opinion that I was an adult and my decisions were mine and mine alone to make. I'm a lot luckier in that respect than many other people I know at school.
Jenkies Jenkies 7 years
Growing up, I had a very rocky relationship with my mom. It started getting better a couple of years ago (two years after I got married.) I was never particularly close with my dad and it has pretty much stayed that way. Now my mom and I talk more and she has loosened up a bit and I have as well.
WeTheLiving WeTheLiving 7 years
My parents are divorced and I lived with my mom. As a teen, I fought with my mom a lot. But when I went to college, I realized how amazing she was and how much I appreciated her and we became a lot closer (with my younger sisters too). We still fight occasionally, but we get over it really fast. We've always known that we love each other and will always be there for each other, so in that way it hasn't changed.I've never been close to my father. I'm not sure he's ever felt much of a fatherly bond with us since he's never shown an interest in our lives. He's also a recovering alcoholic and as the oldest, I saw more of his behavior/violence and fought more with him when and after my parents divorced (at 9). But we could joke and debate when I saw him on weekends and dinners/holidays/b-days. The last couple years things changed. He remarried and started being really cruel to us and spending less time with us. It's possible he's drinking again, but I'm not sure. My sisters still talk to him a little more, but after a few family counseling sessions and some harsh words from him, I've pretty much given up. I saw him for the first time in 11 months for dinner around Thanksgiving and on Christmas Eve, but I just go to make it peaceful for my sisters. He doesn't call me and I don't call him. I think we just don't care about each other. It's weird, cuz I feel like my life wouldn't be affected at all if he died; whereas, if my mother did I don't know how I could survive it.
WeTheLiving WeTheLiving 7 years
My parents are divorced and I lived with my mom. As a teen, I fought with my mom a lot. But when I went to college, I realized how amazing she was and how much I appreciated her and we became a lot closer (with my younger sisters too). We still fight occasionally, but we get over it really fast. We've always known that we love each other and will always be there for each other, so in that way it hasn't changed. I've never been close to my father. I'm not sure he's ever felt much of a fatherly bond with us since he's never shown an interest in our lives. He's also a recovering alcoholic and as the oldest, I saw more of his behavior/violence and fought more with him when and after my parents divorced (at 9). But we could joke and debate when I saw him on weekends and dinners/holidays/b-days. The last couple years things changed. He remarried and started being really cruel to us and spending less time with us. It's possible he's drinking again, but I'm not sure. My sisters still talk to him a little more, but after a few family counseling sessions and some harsh words from him, I've pretty much given up. I saw him for the first time in 11 months for dinner around Thanksgiving and on Christmas Eve, but I just go to make it peaceful for my sisters. He doesn't call me and I don't call him. I think we just don't care about each other. It's weird, cuz I feel like my life wouldn't be affected at all if he died; whereas, if my mother did I don't know how I could survive it.
lickety-split lickety-split 7 years
my relationship with my mother was always very difficult. i was not what she wanted for a daughter; i had different goals, views of the world, etc. my not affirming her life choices with my life was seen by her as an insult. my dad and i always got along great. after i moved away and got married my mom would buffer the contact between my dad and i. she died about a year and a half ago and my dad and i are closer than ever now. we visit each other often (he's here now) and i can't believe there were so many years i went w/o this closeness with him. i'm glad to have it back, we have a lot of fun.
lickety-split lickety-split 7 years
my relationship with my mother was always very difficult. i was not what she wanted for a daughter; i had different goals, views of the world, etc. my not affirming her life choices with my life was seen by her as an insult. my dad and i always got along great. after i moved away and got married my mom would buffer the contact between my dad and i. she died about a year and a half ago and my dad and i are closer than ever now. we visit each other often (he's here now) and i can't believe there were so many years i went w/o this closeness with him. i'm glad to have it back, we have a lot of fun.
merie33 merie33 7 years
My mother and I were always really close and as I've gotten older, we've only gotten closer...Sometimes I think she's more of a friend than a motherly figure...we seriously talk about EVERYTHING!My dad and I have always had a great relationship, but like sass317's dad, he's really not chatty. So we're on super terms, but that doesn't necessarily mean we talk with each other ;)I love my parents and wouldn't trade them for anything though!!
merie33 merie33 7 years
My mother and I were always really close and as I've gotten older, we've only gotten closer...Sometimes I think she's more of a friend than a motherly figure...we seriously talk about EVERYTHING! My dad and I have always had a great relationship, but like sass317's dad, he's really not chatty. So we're on super terms, but that doesn't necessarily mean we talk with each other ;) I love my parents and wouldn't trade them for anything though!!
sass317 sass317 7 years
I never went through that teenage "i hate my parents" phase. My mom and I have always been very close. My dad and I have always gotten along, but hes just not very chatty. My brother used to tease me and say I was a Daddy's Girl, which I always thought was odd, my dad never had any problems telling me no, I wasnt spoiled by any stretch of the imagination. Now that Im an adult, married and expecting my first baby- I think we (mom and dad) are closer than ever, and Ill be interested to see how my dad is when his little granddaughter gets here- see him turn into a big puddle of goo. She will have him wrapped around her little finger far more than I ever could have.
dm8bri dm8bri 7 years
My mom is Borderline, so as I've gotten older I've had to process that and try to seperate my identity from hers. It has been hard. I've always wanted to be close with my dad, but they are still married and in order to keep the peace he "sides" with her. On the upside, I'm discovering a lot about the real me and learning to trust myself - so that's been great!
starangel82 starangel82 7 years
My dad and I have always been close and that hasn't changed. My mom and I used to have a very bad relationship. It started to improve when I went to college and has just gotten better and better with each passing year. It's nice to be close to both my parents.
emalove emalove 7 years
It hasn't really changed...it just gets stronger, and we get even closer as time goes on. I'm really lucky to have the parents I have--they are kind, loving, generous, and have always been unconditionally supportive.
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 7 years
I'm in pretty much the same situation as margokhal
TidalWave TidalWave 7 years
I have become closer to my father as a care-giver role. My mother and I's relationship has never been a solid one and is now completely broken - which is better for everyone.
Alyssa9986 Alyssa9986 7 years
I swear my mother is becoming more and more like a character out of a movie. I've always had very cool parents (I'm only 22) but lately she's just acting like a girlfriend! I believe a direct quote from her the other day (after expressing to her how much I want to sleep with the guy I'm currently seeing...would be the first guy since my ex 3 years ago) was screamed to my dad in the other room "DID YOU HEAR THAT HONEY?! SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN!" My mom has never been one to mince words. Hahah did bring quite a laugh though.
aimeeb aimeeb 7 years
It's still tough with my mother because she has a hard time just not pushing what my siblings may do onto me...she has to learn to seperate my actions from those of my sister/brother...Otherwise my mom is who she is and I don't see her changing...ha. And I don't plan on curtailing myself like I did when I was home, I'm a lot more vocal and stick up for myself. As for my father and I, we've always had a great relationship my mother just makes it taxed sometimes.
aimeeb aimeeb 7 years
It's still tough with my mother because she has a hard time just not pushing what my siblings may do onto me...she has to learn to seperate my actions from those of my sister/brother... Otherwise my mom is who she is and I don't see her changing...ha. And I don't plan on curtailing myself like I did when I was home, I'm a lot more vocal and stick up for myself. As for my father and I, we've always had a great relationship my mother just makes it taxed sometimes.
Chrstne Chrstne 7 years
My relationship with my dad has evolved into noting. My relationship with my mom is still the same. She's more like a friend now than an over-protective person who treats me like a child. I am 22, live on my own (with my BF) in another state. No reason to treat me like a kid anymore haha.
Deidre Deidre 7 years
Closer to both as I've gotten older. It's really amazing that we're able to enjoy each other more as people now that they acknowledge I'm an adult. They stopped giving me unsolicited opinions the minute I became financially independent. Their view has always been that they don't have a direct say in my decisions as long as I'm taking care of myself. Now, they're more open about their crazy pasts. We can relax and have a drink together. We bond over work issues. It's really nice, to be honest.
Deidre Deidre 7 years
Closer to both as I've gotten older. It's really amazing that we're able to enjoy each other more as people now that they acknowledge I'm an adult. They stopped giving me unsolicited opinions the minute I became financially independent. Their view has always been that they don't have a direct say in my decisions as long as I'm taking care of myself. Now, they're more open about their crazy pasts. We can relax and have a drink together. We bond over work issues. It's really nice, to be honest.
princess_eab princess_eab 7 years
Yeah, I'm still not very close to them because we have completely opposite views on life (which means political views). Any political conversation that comes up, I have to just zip it, which is very stressful for me. I love my parents but I don't ever just want to hang out with them all the time. I limit visits to a week or less because anything longer makes me extremely depressed. I'm nearly 30 and they treat me like a child because I'm unmarried (which I suppose means I'm not a "real adult" yet). I guess telling my parents no details about my life really hasn't changed.
Marni7 Marni7 7 years
i have always been close to my dad and that has not really changed. However my relationship with my mom was always a bit off but as I get older we talk alot more and I am grateful that things are better..its still evolving as well though
miss-malone miss-malone 7 years
Over the years, my mom and I became closer and our relationship is better, but I kind of drifted from my dad.
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