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Do Tell: Why Do You Think Men Don't Ask You Out?

Do Tell: Why Do You Think Men Don't Ask You Out?

Women constantly write to me, asking why men aren't asking them out on dates. They tell me they are good looking, they are funny and smart, and they like to have a good time — sounds like a pretty great combo to me, yet they still aren't having any luck in the dating game. While I've given you all my advice, sometimes hearing why from your peers who are in the same boat can make all the difference in the world. That's why I've decided to turn the tables and ask all of you to answer the question for yourselves and for each other. So ladies, if you're ailing from a dating dry spell, do tell, why do you think the men aren't making the move?

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menareturds menareturds 4 years
Why don't men like me? They like me allright, they like to use me for there beneficial reasons. Just going to warn you all now that I am not in a good state. I'm 29, pretty, funny, somewhat smart and going to school. I am not employed because I'm disabled. I'm to embarrassed to tell men, oh by the way I'm dyeing cause as soon as I do that, they stop coming around. I've been sick from an early age and have to take meds to keep me alive so when they see that they question... what are those for? I don't feel it's there business in the beginning. I know that there are a ton of things about me that are turnoffs but isn't there one guy out there that can love me so I don't have to spend every freaking day alone. I don't know how much time I have and I'm lonely for companionship. Pills are my vice. They make me go in LaLa land. These are the things I hate about my self. I'm bi-polar, sometimes mean, and usually suicidal but these are things I hide very well. Other than that, I love people and would do anything for anybody even a homeless person or a best friend. I care about others, love animals, and love the holidays but am tired of being alone during them. I am the most spontanious person I know, guys always say.. your awesome! But then I find out they are taken.
maryann999 maryann999 6 years
I think we all carry too much baggage all the way back from school.Girls who are harsh, also have hidden issues too.In my job I deal with all sorts of people every day and what I have learnt is that everyone has a back-story and because of this I try not to judge. So there is always a reason a girl may be 'cold' and reject you men. There are so many factors.Remember we girls not only have to deal with the shy but all so the sleeze-bags.Check some self-esteem videos on YouTube... don't take it as an insult... have an open mind.Anyway it is a simple case of the survival of the fittest. If you want to spread your genes - do some homework on yourself.Don't po-po self help books and course. You get sales training why not 'life training'?
maryann999 maryann999 6 years
I think we all carry too much baggage all the way back from school. Girls who are harsh, also have hidden issues too. In my job I deal with all sorts of people every day and what I have learnt is that everyone has a back-story and because of this I try not to judge. So there is always a reason a girl may be 'cold' and reject you men. There are so many factors. Remember we girls not only have to deal with the shy but all so the sleeze-bags. Check some self-esteem videos on YouTube... don't take it as an insult... have an open mind. Anyway it is a simple case of the survival of the fittest. If you want to spread your genes - do some homework on yourself. Don't po-po self help books and course. You get sales training why not 'life training'?
Jeny Jeny 7 years
oops I meant 'guys CAN'T jump much less climb to reach it' mah bad
Jeny Jeny 7 years
I think all these beautiful/smart/awesome women need to just be friendly/funny/open minded more.. We probably have the bar raised so high that guys can jump much less climb that far to get up and above it! I've been a model for 6 years but no guy would ever know that by meeting me.. I am myself which is a goof ball dork who collects amazing spiderman comic books and played high school and college basketball.. I've been published but I don't go around thinking my you know what doesn't stink.. I definitely get a lot of interest but I'm at a point in my life where I'd rather be successful and self-sufficient than go out and spend time and money on a date.. But I think as soon as I meet the guy that is ok with that, things will be great!That's just my opinion! : )
Jeny Jeny 7 years
I think all these beautiful/smart/awesome women need to just be friendly/funny/open minded more.. We probably have the bar raised so high that guys can jump much less climb that far to get up and above it! I've been a model for 6 years but no guy would ever know that by meeting me.. I am myself which is a goof ball dork who collects amazing spiderman comic books and played high school and college basketball.. I've been published but I don't go around thinking my you know what doesn't stink.. I definitely get a lot of interest but I'm at a point in my life where I'd rather be successful and self-sufficient than go out and spend time and money on a date.. But I think as soon as I meet the guy that is ok with that, things will be great! That's just my opinion! : )
cubadog cubadog 7 years
I agree with you silverlining nobody wants to be around someone that is cocky. I have been told by many men that part of my sexiness is that I do not think I am the greatest looking person in the room and they love that I am comfortable in my own skin. Playing the I am so hot card will go so far if you can't carry on a conversation no one is going to want to be around you. I like being single but I also love to meet new people. I am a strong, independent woman which can be intimidating to men; my feeling is that this is what you get if you don't like there's the door. I think it would also help if I got out more. I also look very young I have been told that I look like I am 25 and I am 38 so sometimes the men are a little too young for me.
kaBOOMx kaBOOMx 7 years
I've been told a number of time by many of my older male friends, that I act at least twice my age.Being on the younger side, it's a little shocking, and admittedly "intimidating", or so say the brave ones.Most of my friends are also men, and I've repeatedly heard that I'm "one of the guys".Flings happen, but usually its very awkward. Like seeing your cousin naked.
kaBOOMx kaBOOMx 7 years
I've been told a number of time by many of my older male friends, that I act at least twice my age. Being on the younger side, it's a little shocking, and admittedly "intimidating", or so say the brave ones. Most of my friends are also men, and I've repeatedly heard that I'm "one of the guys". Flings happen, but usually its very awkward. Like seeing your cousin naked.
me-n-myself me-n-myself 7 years
i try to figure it out but still don't have the answer. not many guys would ask me to go out also, yeah but the only excuse that i could make is he's not the one for me, it's just not click yet, there'll be someone for me at the right time who loves me just the way i am.
forhumanity forhumanity 7 years
A lot of people tell me that Im intimidating and also the way I dress is very different than the rest of the girls in my small town. My friend once over heard a few guys speaking about me and they said that I "had a boyfriend over the internet, who I am running away with in the summer time..." something along the lines of that ridiculousness. But sometimes its probably because Im not their type.
iheartfooty iheartfooty 7 years
My soon to be fella is VERY nervous and awkward around me, I am as well.......I just donna look like a twit or loose respect about him
browneyedgirl00 browneyedgirl00 7 years
Sounds trite, but there can be intimidation or fear of rejection. Some girls give off a stuck-up or unapproachable vibe that can scare off guys. Or, it could be that "he's just not that into you!".
SumSpringlove5 SumSpringlove5 7 years
yeah they r idiots most of the i think im all that kind of guys. guys r bascially the same. yeah u move on and some people wish like the next girl they go out with 2 suffer or get something. thats what itold my friends. now im fine. after awhile u give in and then u give out and move on and start a better life 4 ur self.
SumSpringlove5 SumSpringlove5 7 years
yeah i agree with TFS,Shopaholichunny [+], crackaddict, and almostfamous. yeah this kid claimed that he liked me his friends introduced me like last september he said 2 my face that he liked me nd i was like i know and i was gonna ask him out like june29 and i texted him and he said he never liked dont care 4 me and now is going out with some other gurl. that sucks and basically cuz he doesnt know what he wants and will flirt with people ( or just talk 2 them) in front of my face or near me. ahaha what a loser
rgfemmefatale18 rgfemmefatale18 7 years
i want to comment but i need to think this one through...ha lol ... BRB
alexask alexask 7 years
woah...just noticed.. akay said all i wanted to write already. kudos
alexask alexask 7 years
i am naturally very shy and have suffered a type of self esteem that, especially in high school, made me want to be invisible. i think my aloofness comes off to some as thinking i'm too good for them, and to others as being too shy and self-conscious. whichever way it's interpreted, it's definitely mostly the latter going inside my head. i also notice that some of the most intelligent men i know go for dumber girls. i'm an engineering student, i play guitar better than most guys i know, and i'm not one to play dumb, so i can be what guys consider "mean" to them, because it's hard for me to boost their egos on things i can do too, and have worked much harder through stereotypes for. i know i need to learn to ego boost anyway, cause we all need it. i'm also not a flirt with men, because i think "these days" people interpret flirting as "we're going to have sex tonight". so when i'm not being touchy feely immediately with them at a club, they think i'm just a meanie who is uninterested.
alexask alexask 7 years
i am naturally very shy and have suffered a type of self esteem that, especially in high school, made me want to be invisible. i think my aloofness comes off to some as thinking i'm too good for them, and to others as being too shy and self-conscious. whichever way it's interpreted, it's definitely mostly the latter going inside my head. i also notice that some of the most intelligent men i know go for dumber girls. i'm an engineering student, i play guitar better than most guys i know, and i'm not one to play dumb, so i can be what guys consider "mean" to them, because it's hard for me to boost their egos on things i can do too, and have worked much harder through stereotypes for. i know i need to learn to ego boost anyway, cause we all need it. i'm also not a flirt with men, because i think "these days" people interpret flirting as "we're going to have sex tonight". so when i'm not being touchy feely immediately with them at a club, they think i'm just a meanie who is uninterested.
jessicookie jessicookie 7 years
Think about the "type" of guy you want and go there. Ex. you want a man who likes to read adn drink coffee? then go to Barnes and Noble or Starbucks. Want a man who likes art go to and art gallery...it's better if you go alone.
jessicookie jessicookie 7 years
Think about the "type" of guy you want and go there. Ex. you want a man who likes to read adn drink coffee? then go to Barnes and Noble or Starbucks. Want a man who likes art go to and art gallery...it's better if you go alone.
random00b random00b 7 years
I've been told that I give off a "don't touch me" aura. My mother (and aunts) say that I don't dress, do my hair, or carry myself in a way that attracts me. Oh well; too old to bother to change just to land a man!
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