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Do You Care Who's Had More Sexual Partners?

Do You Care Who's Had More Sexual Partners?

An upcoming movie project titled One Night Stan follows a soon-to-be-married young man who gets his ego all bruised up when he finds out his fiancée has slept with more people than he has.

The Hollywood Reporter reports:

Stan plays out a scenario about which many men fantasize on the cusp of marriage. When Stan learns his fiancée, Julie, has had more sexual partners than he, he gets her blessing for one night to play catch-up. Unfortunately, his plans for a sex buffet don't come together quite the way he had hoped."

I asked you yesterday if you thought you should disclose your number of sexual partners. So what happens once you both know?

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Texasred45 Texasred45 7 years
"Anonymous" has it exactly right: if someone is bothered because "the number" is high, or higher than they think it should be, they've got insecurity issues. That's why I wisely avoided answering that question when it came up long ago, and I've avoided answering anything remotely related to it since then. Just a couple days ago my wife asked, "How do you know so much about pleasing me?" and I simply told her it was because I paid close attention to what she liked. She wouldn't have been happy with any other answer I might have given.
Texasred45 Texasred45 7 years
"Anonymous" has it exactly right: if someone is bothered because "the number" is high, or higher than they think it should be, they've got insecurity issues. That's why I wisely avoided answering that question when it came up long ago, and I've avoided answering anything remotely related to it since then. Just a couple days ago my wife asked, "How do you know so much about pleasing me?" and I simply told her it was because I paid close attention to what she liked. She wouldn't have been happy with any other answer I might have given.
Texasred45 Texasred45 7 years
It's not a big deal how many other lovers my wife may have had before we met - I don't recall that we ever talked about it, but, judging by her attitudes and responses, whoever they were, they must have been gentle and thoughtful men. I never told her how many others I've had, since she'd have dumped me on the spot: before I met her, in my 20s and early 30s, I was, unfortunately, rather promiscuous...
Texasred45 Texasred45 7 years
It's not a big deal how many other lovers my wife may have had before we met - I don't recall that we ever talked about it, but, judging by her attitudes and responses, whoever they were, they must have been gentle and thoughtful men. I never told her how many others I've had, since she'd have dumped me on the spot: before I met her, in my 20s and early 30s, I was, unfortunately, rather promiscuous...
dikke-kus dikke-kus 7 years
The more outgoing and attractive a man is, plus the more money he has, the better job he processes, the more sexual partners he will have had in his past. He will not see anything wrong with sex. The less attractive they may be, the thinner the wallets get, and the younger they are, the less sexual partners they will have. Therefor if you want to date an intelligent, attractive man are you going to say you are upset by a past number? Think again. As long as you are the last number ladies. That is the number you should be worried about.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 7 years
The more outgoing and attractive a man is, plus the more money he has, the better job he processes, the more sexual partners he will have had in his past. He will not see anything wrong with sex. The less attractive they may be, the thinner the wallets get, and the younger they are, the less sexual partners they will have. Therefor if you want to date an intelligent, attractive man are you going to say you are upset by a past number? Think again. As long as you are the last number ladies. That is the number you should be worried about.
Stacey-Cakes Stacey-Cakes 7 years
I don't care who has slept with more...but if I found out he lied about the number to me, it is a definite deal-breaker. I need a guy who is comfortable with who he is and what he has or hasn't done.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
I'm with Mallorycurtis. I would be more concerned about STD's, illegitimate children, and psycho exe's. These matters would be in his PRESENT life, and may have bearing on our relationship. In fact, I would be so disinterested in his number that I wouldn't even ask (given that he's no longer involved with any of them). This would be in his PAST. Thus, as far as I'm concerned, it would be a non-issue. JMHO.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
I'm with Mallorycurtis. I would be more concerned about STD's, illegitimate children, and psycho exe's. These matters would be in his PRESENT life, and may have bearing on our relationship. In fact, I would be so disinterested in his number that I wouldn't even ask (given that he's no longer involved with any of them). This would be in his PAST. Thus, as far as I'm concerned, it would be a non-issue. JMHO.
mallorycurtis mallorycurtis 7 years
As long as he doesn't have any STDs or illegitimate children or psycho exes, I don't care how many people he's been with. His personality and our attraction to each other has a lot more bearing than his number.
zabrow zabrow 7 years
i don't care either way. i've been a guy's first & i've dated a guy that had 20x more partners than i've ever had... in a single year. just as long as everyone's healthy & safe, nothing that he's done in his past has any bearing on our relationship, just the same as nothing i've done has any bearing on our relationship.i completely agree with what bellasugar says... the number does not make or break the man.
zabrow zabrow 7 years
i don't care either way. i've been a guy's first & i've dated a guy that had 20x more partners than i've ever had... in a single year. just as long as everyone's healthy & safe, nothing that he's done in his past has any bearing on our relationship, just the same as nothing i've done has any bearing on our relationship. i completely agree with what bellasugar says... the number does not make or break the man.
Beauty Beauty 7 years
I don't care either way; it's more about the relationship I have with the person in question. I've known real schmucks who've had two partners, and I've known amazing people who've slept with 25+ partners.
juicebox07 juicebox07 7 years
I'm with #1. Although I'm not a virgin, I've only been with one guy and that's the guy I'm currently dating. Sex is something very intimate to me that I don't believe in sharing with just anybody. Therefore, I wouldn't want a guy who's had a ton of partners.
poptart-princess poptart-princess 7 years
well, i can't say that i would "mind" if they had more than me, since more than likely they will have....i think it's more of a "quality" vs. "quantity" issue; i haven't slept around - nor have i ever had a desire to - and have been discerning, therefore i would like to be with someone who's used their better judgment in that area as well.
genesisrocks genesisrocks 7 years
Depends how big the gap is
genesisrocks genesisrocks 7 years
Depends how big the gap is
cherryblossom cherryblossom 7 years
when girls are young they are very impressionable and vulnerable and young boys stop at nothing to take advantage of that, most of them anyway, when i was a few years younger i had a boyfriend for about three months that did nothing but badger me to have sex with him. I didnt but he made me feel weird and he kind of violated me, i broke up with him. since then i have only had one boyfriend, who is the one for me, the one I will marry, and i was still a virgin when i met him, but that little bit of violation even from another person, i hate that it ever happened, i wish i could take it back because thats how much i wish that I could only ever have been touched by one person, my true love, and im not an old fashioned girl at all, im very modern, I just have a reallly deep and true love
Pistil Pistil 7 years
I expect most people to have had more partners than me. I know I'm not dating a manwhore, so it doesn't bother me.I don't believe how many partners you've had necessarily determines how good you are in bed. I think good sex can be learned and it doesn't require having had a large number. Worst case scenario: dating someone who thinks he knows what he's doing (because he's had the 'experience') but doesn't listen to what *I* want/need (we're not all the same!).
Pistil Pistil 7 years
I expect most people to have had more partners than me. I know I'm not dating a manwhore, so it doesn't bother me. I don't believe how many partners you've had necessarily determines how good you are in bed. I think good sex can be learned and it doesn't require having had a large number. Worst case scenario: dating someone who thinks he knows what he's doing (because he's had the 'experience') but doesn't listen to what *I* want/need (we're not all the same!).
opentypeA opentypeA 7 years
le romantique pretty much said what I would've :-)
Chrstne Chrstne 7 years
My BF and I plan to marry someday, and he has been with as many people as me. If by some odd chance we said screw our relationship, I would only be with someone who viewed sex the way I do -- have sex with someone you love and are in a relationship with. Not someone you thought you sorta liked in high school.
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