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Do You Know Anyone Who Kept an Abstinence Pledge?

When Bristol and Sarah Palin appeared on Oprah last week to talk about the 19-year-old's sex life, or lack thereof, Oprah seemed more than a little skeptical. Teen mom Bristol said she plans on not having sex until she gets married and thinks other young women should have the same goal. After Bristol declined Oprah's offer to retract her public abstinence vow, Oprah said: "I'm just wondering if that's a realistic goal." Oprah probably remembers having a similar conversation with Britney Spears a few years ago. You can watch that vintage interview below. Do you know anyone who remained celibate until marriage?

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Venus1 Venus1 6 years
Three further thoughts 1. I don't wear a ring or a badge to say I love oral or how many partners I've had so why, if you choose to abstain from pleasure wear this crazy ring? 2. I recommend the novel "On Chesil Beach" by Ian McEwan. Look what happened there. 3. The fact I am happily sexually active does not make me a lesser person or less "pure" than anybody who is not!
Venus1 Venus1 6 years
Three further thoughts1. I don't wear a ring or a badge to say I love oral or how many partners I've had so why, if you choose to abstain from pleasure wear this crazy ring?2. I recommend the novel "On Chesil Beach" by Ian McEwan. Look what happened there.3. The fact I am happily sexually active does not make me a lesser person or less "pure" than anybody who is not!
Lyv Lyv 6 years
I can't believe it's two thousand fxcking ten and there are still millions of people who feel virginity brings you some special kind of purity and magic and enlightenment. :? Basically if you're delusional enough to go for abstinence, you deserve all that's coming to you.
Zivanod Zivanod 6 years
Waiting until marriage is a dumb idea. People will rush into marriages sooner then they would have if they just developed a mature relationship first. It would be a better policy to teach young people to wait until they are ready emotionally, physically, and ideally with someone they love and respect and loves and respects them back.
Zivanod Zivanod 6 years
Waiting until marriage is a dumb idea. People will rush into marriages sooner then they would have if they just developed a mature relationship first.It would be a better policy to teach young people to wait until they are ready emotionally, physically, and ideally with someone they love and respect and loves and respects them back.
jessicagurl jessicagurl 6 years
Sex becomes magical once you're really good at it....which takes lots of practice with that special someone! If you're waiting till your honeymoon, don't expect it to be fireworks...cause it's gonna hurt and probably be kind of awkward! That being said...doesn't mean that it won't become magical eventually.
Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 6 years
I can't imagine waiting until my wedding night to try and have sex. The first time was not pleasurable - it was painful and I'm glad I didn't have to mar my wedding night with that kind of pain. Not to mention that it took months of my first (sexual) boyfriend and I trying before we could get the penis in. I had to go to the doctor to get special tools to help stretch me out because I was so abnormally tight. Sex with men who have average to large penises causes me a lot of pain - they're just too big for me. I can't imagine having married someone before having sex with them only find out that I'll never have painfree sex for as long as I am married to them. My husband and I slept together before marriage and I don't regret it, it's how I knew we were sexually compatible, which is important in marriage.Sex is neither a dirty or unpure thing. I advocate waiting until you are ready, but I don't think you need to wait until you are married, because that does lead to early marriages. We are a society where a lot of our youth are not developing mental maturity until later and later (think late 20's now) - why on earth would we want to encourage people to marry before they are mentally mature.
Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 6 years
I can't imagine waiting until my wedding night to try and have sex. The first time was not pleasurable - it was painful and I'm glad I didn't have to mar my wedding night with that kind of pain. Not to mention that it took months of my first (sexual) boyfriend and I trying before we could get the penis in. I had to go to the doctor to get special tools to help stretch me out because I was so abnormally tight. Sex with men who have average to large penises causes me a lot of pain - they're just too big for me. I can't imagine having married someone before having sex with them only find out that I'll never have painfree sex for as long as I am married to them. My husband and I slept together before marriage and I don't regret it, it's how I knew we were sexually compatible, which is important in marriage. Sex is neither a dirty or unpure thing. I advocate waiting until you are ready, but I don't think you need to wait until you are married, because that does lead to early marriages. We are a society where a lot of our youth are not developing mental maturity until later and later (think late 20's now) - why on earth would we want to encourage people to marry before they are mentally mature.
xgreenfairyx xgreenfairyx 6 years
What's with all this 'magical' crap? Sex isn't magic....its sex. Full of fluids, and sweat, and grinding, and groaning. And humans like sex. Putting all this unnatural hype on it being 'special' and a 'gift' is just pants....married or not. It happens, it feels good. Just use friggin' common sense, that's all you need.Hearing all these people BELIEVING this poetic nonsense...well, just makes me feel better for seeing the world as it is, and not some wonderous candyland beyond the rainbow full of dreams and unicorns. Seriously. Commercializing abstinence like its the new squeeze bottle cheese is just another agenda the media and religion regularly spotlight in order to control the masses, especially women. It's a shame tactic; "Don't do it or you'll be a used up trash heap and shame your husband/wife.....but mostly your husband". Balls.Sigh. Be a deluded tool if you want. I'll be busy being a human and having sex.
xgreenfairyx xgreenfairyx 6 years
What's with all this 'magical' crap? Sex isn't magic....its sex. Full of fluids, and sweat, and grinding, and groaning. And humans like sex. Putting all this unnatural hype on it being 'special' and a 'gift' is just pants....married or not. It happens, it feels good. Just use friggin' common sense, that's all you need. Hearing all these people BELIEVING this poetic nonsense...well, just makes me feel better for seeing the world as it is, and not some wonderous candyland beyond the rainbow full of dreams and unicorns. Seriously. Commercializing abstinence like its the new squeeze bottle cheese is just another agenda the media and religion regularly spotlight in order to control the masses, especially women. It's a shame tactic; "Don't do it or you'll be a used up trash heap and shame your husband/wife.....but mostly your husband". Balls. Sigh. Be a deluded tool if you want. I'll be busy being a human and having sex.
c4rolin3 c4rolin3 6 years
I completly agree with #18 - "I think waiting until you are ready, commited and emotionally involved with someone to start having sex is a far better goal".It's more about finding someone you're in love with and want to take that next step with.I respect people who wait till they're married and think it's a wonderful commitment, whether a promise to god or to yourself.Interestingly, people who I know who waited till they were married were also extremely young.I think of Jessica Simpson - she waited till her wedding night and I'm sure that was magical and it was important and special for her husband too. Interestingly though, the marriage didn't last. I'm not saying it was because of this, but your sex/intimate life with your partner is a huge part of your life together. As #26 says, people may wait till marriage but then find that you're not compatible or completely happy with each other.Surely it's better to promote and promise the practice of safe sex with a worthy partner than waiting till marriage, just to divorce 3 years down the line. Of course this is a bit extreme - but I think in terms of sexual education, find somewhere safely inbetween promiscuity and abstinence. Otherwise, people will just break promises.
c4rolin3 c4rolin3 6 years
I completly agree with #18 - "I think waiting until you are ready, commited and emotionally involved with someone to start having sex is a far better goal". It's more about finding someone you're in love with and want to take that next step with. I respect people who wait till they're married and think it's a wonderful commitment, whether a promise to god or to yourself. Interestingly, people who I know who waited till they were married were also extremely young. I think of Jessica Simpson - she waited till her wedding night and I'm sure that was magical and it was important and special for her husband too. Interestingly though, the marriage didn't last. I'm not saying it was because of this, but your sex/intimate life with your partner is a huge part of your life together. As #26 says, people may wait till marriage but then find that you're not compatible or completely happy with each other. Surely it's better to promote and promise the practice of safe sex with a worthy partner than waiting till marriage, just to divorce 3 years down the line. Of course this is a bit extreme - but I think in terms of sexual education, find somewhere safely inbetween promiscuity and abstinence. Otherwise, people will just break promises.
cdelaney cdelaney 6 years
It is really a personal or religious preference I suppose. I don't really agree with it and think that it puts alot of girls on the fast track to marriage with a guy because they want to have sex. Just because you want to have sex doesn't mean that your marriage would be a successful one. I've known a few people who've waited for marriage and they got married really young only to find that they aren't all that happy/compatible/satisfied with their mate.
MissSushi MissSushi 6 years
I don't really agree with it, but its her choice.. but i don't think it's that out there that she's deciding it and talking about it to warn others. It's pretty much what everyone does. Make a bad decision, live with the consequences - good and bad, and tell others about it in hopes they won't make the same bad choice.
runningesq runningesq 6 years
Hey Bristol: when you say you don't have sex, you need to add "anymore."
michellez michellez 6 years
watching that britney spears clip makes me miss the old her so much! I know people from college who abstained until marriage, but they were Christian and 20/21 when they married. I feel like this whole abstaining until marriage is not a good idea if it makes ppl marry so early. It'll just more likely end in divorce...
chloe-bella chloe-bella 6 years
Bristol's preachy little attitude really rubbed me the wrong way. Why does she think she can now tell everyone how they should be living their lives when she obviously made her own choices for herself? I actually kind of liked Sarah Palin's point (surprisingly!) which was that the whole "waiting for marriage" thing puts so much emphasis on getting married, which is really not something girls need to be stressing about at the age of 19.
MissSushi MissSushi 6 years
I think waiting until you are ready, commited and emotionally involved with someone to start having sex is a far better goal. The first time has a lot of things tied up with it, and stds and pregnancy really need to be prevented as much as possible. My mother never bothered with the marriage thing, she just advised caution and importance, i think it's wonderful for those who choose it, but i personally need to live with and experience life with someone before i dedicate so much to them.
sourcherry sourcherry 6 years
Anon #13, I'm not one bit judgmental of those who wait until marriage, I think people absolutely should if that's what feels right for them. What I think it's a shame is girls doing so because their parents or friends pressure them to, often implying that a future husband would value them more, find them more "pure" and suitable to be a wife...That's what I meant by "virginity mentality", and unfortunately a lot of people still have it. Also, waiting for marriage is entirely different from waiting until you're old and mature enough to handle sex. I definitely agree that nothing good comes from people losing their virginity earlier and earlier, but I don't think drawing a line at marriage is the solution. As many here mentioned, it often leads to people marrying too soon, to the first person that comes along... No good consequences there either. Anyway, what I mean is that people should wait until they're ready and they feel it's right, not when society tells them to, whether it's to do it too soon or on their wedding night.
sourcherry sourcherry 6 years
Anon #13, I'm not one bit judgmental of those who wait until marriage, I think people absolutely should if that's what feels right for them. What I think it's a shame is girls doing so because their parents or friends pressure them to, often implying that a future husband would value them more, find them more "pure" and suitable to be a wife...That's what I meant by "virginity mentality", and unfortunately a lot of people still have it.Also, waiting for marriage is entirely different from waiting until you're old and mature enough to handle sex. I definitely agree that nothing good comes from people losing their virginity earlier and earlier, but I don't think drawing a line at marriage is the solution. As many here mentioned, it often leads to people marrying too soon, to the first person that comes along... No good consequences there either. Anyway, what I mean is that people should wait until they're ready and they feel it's right, not when society tells them to, whether it's to do it too soon or on their wedding night.
fishmeister23 fishmeister23 6 years
The only people I know who made it till marriage being abstinent, like people that other posters know as well, got married when they were 19 or 20. And pretty much every couple it was their first relationship that lasted more then six months. And I agree with others who've said this, I can't imagine that it's a great situation. People change so much from the time they're teenagers to the time they're adults- I think about if I had married the person I was with when I was 19, I'd be miserable- that relationship ended for a reason, because we grew apart. That's what happen to young people, and getting married for the wrong reasons(i.e. false feelings of "your one true love" that you're mistaking for good, old fashioned hormones and physical attraction) is a recipe for disaster. Plus, if I'd stayed with him, I would have missed out BIG TIME down the line :nudge-nudge: I know one other girl who's currently upholding an abstinence pledge, but she complains about it constantly and uses it as an excuse to not pursue relationships. But that's probably just her.
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