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They Don't Call It Trash For Nothing

They Don't Call It Trash For Nothing

Dear Sugar
I'm in college, I am 20 years old, and I live in my own apartment that my parents are paying for. They were helping me move my stuff in after winter break and
both of them used my restroom throughout the day. I didn't realize until after they left that I forgot to hide the used condom wrappers in the trashcan!

I have been dating my boyfriend for a few months now. My parents know him and really like him, but I am just mortified that they saw the condom wrappers and now know for sure that we are having sex. I would normally never be so blatant about something like this and I don't know if I should talk to them about it. Humiliated Helen

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Humiliated Helen
As embarrassed as you are by your parents seeing your contraband in the trash, what is done is done. Are you sure they saw the condom wrappers? Is it like them to not mention anything if they did in fact see something? Since they know you have a boyfriend, and given your age, chances are being sexually active is no big surprise to them.

Are you worried that your parents will stop paying for your apartment now that they know about your sex life? On the bright side, if your mom and dad did see your garbage, they can rest assured that you are being safe and responsible which might actually work out to your advantage in the long run.

Try to brush off the incident and use it as a learning experience: remember to take out the trash before vacation! Since you are already assuming the worst, your parents are probably more embarrassed than you so it is more than likely this won't be made into dinner table conversation!

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Beautifulbarbie Beautifulbarbie 9 years
I wouldnt bring it up.
Marci Marci 9 years
I agree about not bringing it up. They probably won't either. What could they really say, anyway? You're 20 and you're going to do what you want to do. I'm sure they suspect on some level that's going on anyway. So at least you're being responsible.
katie225 katie225 9 years
my parents found a brown paper bag of free condoms they give out at the health clinic. i was 16 or 17, i had hidden the bag in my car. i wasn't even sexually active at the time, i just like staying on the pill because it regulates everything and asking my mom to take me to the doctor for birth control is mortifying to me (i hid the fact that i had gotten my first period from my mom for a couple of weeks. she started realizing the pads were going somewhere...). i was just so embarrassed because my mom wanted to give me the whole cool mom "i'm glad you're being responsible speech" and i wasn't even having sex at the time! gah. point is, i know how you feel. i wouldn't mention a word about it unless they said something. if your parents stop paying for your apartment because of it, that would be ridiculous but it would be within their rights to do so. there's a good chance they didn't see anything. if it was my kid, i'd be proud of him/her because i know they're acting like a responsible adult!
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
Once my dad was helping me move and he opened the bedside table to empty contents. Guess what was in there?? Big surprise... Whoops! He's kind of a direct person, so he said: Don't worry - it doesn't bother me - it's none of my business. I was like 22 at the time and relieved that he both didn't make a big deal about it and made the situation less awkward by just addressing it. Anyway, I think that most parents at some point assume their kids are sexually active and realize they're grownups and make their own choices. That doesn't necessarily make it less embarrassing though... I'm voting with the "Don't say anything" crowd, btw.
angelbaby2 angelbaby2 9 years
all good responses-your parents probably won't bring it up-just act like nothing happened. After all, you are an adult and you said that they like your boyfriend. So roll with that. Good luck
Bonne Bonne 9 years
I wouldn't bring it up unless they do. It happens and for the most parents - even our parents were had sex before marriage. And grandparents too. My family has no secrets...
vmruby vmruby 9 years
Don't bother saying anything. Maybe they already know what's going on between you two.At the very least they should be relieved to see you are not being careless and your protecting yourself...
Pinkgirl88 Pinkgirl88 9 years
Once teh gyno gave me a sample of a dif kind of birth control. It was like a month before my sister's wedding so i didn't wnat to change anything- i threw it in the backseat of my car and forgot about it. well long story short my dad ended up sitting in the backseat of my car and i could tell he was looking at it. I am 25 (was 24) and live with my boyfriend and i was still embarrased. So i understand. But don't worry. You never know maybe they didn't see and if they did like sugar said at least you are responsible TINA!
ccsugar ccsugar 9 years
Have they been acting any differently since seeing the wrappers? If not, I'd forget about it.
kendalheart kendalheart 9 years
KendalHeart Agreed! I wouldn't bring it up either...besides even if they did see it, they might just have thought you are an adult and also being responsible and respected that. Just lets you know next time to be careful and take out that trash when they come over!
Lindsb Lindsb 9 years
Ah! I would be mortified, too. However, I agree with Dear's advice.. try to brush it off. Bringing it up could be awful if they didn't ACTUALLY see the wrappers. Who really looks in the trash can while they are peeing anyways? ;)
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