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Guys Who Verbally Encourage Themselves While Working Out

I totally agree with this one. I really don't need to hear your "O" voice while I'm doing bicep curls.

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Guys Who Pretend to Have a Lot More Fun Than They Really Are

This creature can be heard most Saturday nights outside my apartment at 3 a.m. shouting any variation of the following: "Whoooooo!" "Boooya!" or "Waaaaaahh!"

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Guys Who Wear Vintage Clothes

Besides the unsightly silliness of a man in 2009 wearing striped bell-bottoms, there is not enough Febreeze in the world to keep you from smelling like a stale fart at Thrift Town.

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Guys With Amish Beards Who Aren't Amish

For some reason, they all seem to work at pizza joints. What's up with that?

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Guys Who Email Us Porn That Haunts Our Dreams

Thank God this is more of a dude-on-dude crime.

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Guys Who Wear T-Shirts Declaring Their Prowess With the Female Anatomy

I will chuckle in your direction; but then I will run in the opposite direction.

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Guys Who Insist a Stripper Was Into Them

Maybe she was! Him and his dollars, that is.

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Guys Who Say "We're Pregnant"

And then there's the corollary, "We just had a baby." Hmmm. I think, as a woman, I'd want all the credit for that one.

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Guys With Perfect Perma-Scruff

Ugh. Why work at being a slob? And we know you're working at it — especially if you reek of Victoria's Secret Cologne For Him.

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Guys Getting Manicures in Broad Daylight

Ha! A guy who waxes his chest or eyebrows and gets manicures: major dealbreakers.

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