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Don't Be Outraged Over Spitzer's Resignation

Check This: The I Heart Philanderers Backlash

Scandal-aficionados recognize the pattern instantly: the story breaks, the news bashes out wall-to-wall coverage, there's an announcement usually with a side of wife, an agonizing period where the man waits to see if his indiscretion will climax or fade, and then the inevitable bail out. Nothing in our culture will nail you faster than sex. So to speak.

But not everyone is so horrified. I'm not. Sure, prostitution is illegal, so Spitzer-gate might be worth a second glance on that front, but as for being an outrage? Nah. A man having sex? And looking for it as many places as he can get it? Hardly a unicorn. I suppose it could even be argued that Spitzer was being responsible using a professional to fulfill his needs. (A well-paid one at that.) Far from being profligate, Spitzer's outlay of thousands might have been a good investment in her silence — if it wasn't for those pesky investigators, it would have been a wad worth shooting. I'm just getting warmed up,


I don't know if it's America's Puritanical impulses, or the insatiable desire to grab a cheap thrill by endlessly deconstructing the naughtiness, in the end I might be most shocked by our appetite for coverage — which oft times produces some hilarious results. But as for the sex itself, regardless of a man's job, isn't he just following his biological impulses? Perpetuation of the species, and all?

I do take umbrage with one peccadillo in particular: Monica Lewinsky. I know, but it's not what — it's where. The Oval Office to me is a sacred place. If you're going to do it, please don't sully the altar of democracy. Meanwhile, poor Senator Craig gets drug through mud over an incident so mild and vague it requires elaborate charades and an advanced degree in human sexuality to begin to understand. At the end of the day, give me a leader who rocks out good laws, fair judgment, and stellar diplomacy, regardless of what or who they do on their time off. I'd rather not imagine most of them in bed anyway.

It might not be the most popular stance to take, but at least I can wrap myself in the security that I haven't echoed Dr. Laura who answered the question "do women make men cheat" by saying, “Yes, I hold women accountable for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love and kindness and respect and attention they need.” Women don't make men philander. Men do.

I'm sure there are a ton of you who beg to differ with itchy commenting fingers. I can't wait to hear from you.


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