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I want me some of Conan's cable box. From "The Way-Too-Honest Home Shopping Network" channel to "The Too Demanding In Bed" channel, it offers the finest in home entertainment without all the fluff, special effects, or realistic plot lines. I'm already sold, so where do I sign up? (Truth be told, I really want that quilt made from the twenty ugliest quilts in the world, and where else am I gonna get it?)

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