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Emotionally Abusive Mother

Group Therapy: My Mother Is Emotionally Abusive

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I'm 26 years old and still live at home. I've never moved out and have always been close to both of my parents — even now. I don't drive so I go out with my parents almost every Sunday. I went to an all-girl high school so I never really had much interaction with guys until I got to college. I was never kissed or had a boyfriend until I was 18. After my first boyfriend and I broke up, I didn't date anyone again until I was 21. It was during that relationship where I would start to go out more and stay out later (I never really had many girl friends who liked to stay out late either). Well since I would stay out late, my mom would start calling me very hurtful names in Spanish that basically mean "slut." Even when I was younger, she would yell at me for the most mundane thing and call me things in Spanish like "b*tch." I've told her about this second name-calling being hurtful and she always says that she doesn't see those words as being bad words and that she doesn't really mean it but it still hurts.

Well now I've been dating my current boyfriend for six months. He's 28 and has his own apartment. I really want to spend the night at his place but I know how she's going to react if I do. There's times when I go out with him at 4 p.m. and come home at 11 and she scowls at me and says that I have no respect for her or myself. Both of my parents start texting me at 9 or 9:30 asking where I'm at and when I'm coming home. There was one time when I came home at midnight this past summer after spending the day with my boyfriend and she scowled and gave me the silent treatment. The next day she started calling me the "slut" names and when I tried to defend myself, both of us lost our tempers and she actually tried to hit me (I moved and she only hit my arm).

How can I get to stay over at his place without dealing with this intense anger from her? The only way I see of being able to sleep over his place is if there were a snowstorm that made it dangerous to drive on the expressway back to my house.

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