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Falling Out of Love

"Are We Falling Out of Love?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I've been with my boyfriend for two years now. Initially, I fell for him first and then he fell for me. We have a strong relationship and we talk about everything — including marriage. Things used to be great, and I used to think I could never live without him. Even the thought of losing him could bring me to tears.

Recently, though, we were apart for two weeks, and when we saw each other again, I didn't feel the usual passion between us. He'd been on a business trip and things didn't go well, so he came back upset. After trying and trying so hard to please him, I completely lost it. I sat him down and calmly talked to him about whether or not marriage was a good idea. In that moment, I was remembering all the things we used to disagree about, and how I used to think he wasn't in love with me. I know that he loves me — but in love? I don't know.

He was mad at me at first. He told me that he thought we were over this issue, and that he genuinely is in love with me — that if he were to make a checklist about how I'm going to be a wonderful wife, the list would never end. I told him that this was exactly what I hated: making decisions based on checklists about people. At the end of our conversation, he apologized for not giving me the proper attention and I apologized for making everything about me. We said goodbye and today I just feel nothing. I see his pictures, I read his love letters, I try to remember our memories, and I just feel nothing — and something tells me he is probably feeling the same way. He always calls first thing in the morning to wish me a good day, but today he didn't and I can feel this huge coldness between us.

I don't fear losing him anymore and I want to talk to him about this, but I know that even if he's feeling the same way, he would never admit it. He thinks he's made plans and given promises, so he can never change his mind. I don't know what to do. Could it be that I stopped taking my birth control pills, so I have hormonal and mood changes? And as for him, maybe it's the failure at work? Does this feeling go away?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously on Group Therapy for advice and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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