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There's a First Time For Everything

There's a First Time For Everything

Dear Sugar
I am a 20 year old college student and have been with my boyfriend for three years. We really love each other and have wonderful chemistry, but there is just one problem; I have never been able to have an orgasm. It's not just with him, it's with any partner I've ever had.

While I enjoy having sex, I have never climaxed, and it isn't because we don't try. We always have very extensive foreplay, we try different positions and both really take time to enjoy each other. When I get aroused and more and more excited, it's like I hit a barrier: the tension stops building and it seems like I'm stuck.

Is it possible that some women are just unable to experience an orgasm? I've never had bad experiences with sex, I'm not on medicines, I'm not embarrassed about my body and I can't think of one good reason why I can't reach orgasm. Please help. Jaded Jessamine

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Jaded Jessamine
Many women have a difficult time having an orgasm in their 20s so don't be hard on yourself. One major problem you could be having is concentrating too hard on reaching a goal. When you are being intimate with your boyfriend, try to be in the moment, enjoy the pleasure you are feeling and most importantly, relax.

Some woman need to explore their own bodies and find out what makes them tick before someone else can do the job for them. Many ladies are inhibited by their bodies but masturbating, in a safe environment without pressuring yourself, should help you learn more about yourself and be a good tool to find ways to pleasure yourself.

Although you are not on any medication, alcohol, and drugs can interfere with having an orgasm. If you get too fed up, talk to your health care provider but first try to take a step back and hopefully once you take the pressure off yourself, you will be pleasantly surprised.

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