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Found Flirty Texts My Boyfriend Sent

"I Snooped. Now What?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

So I snooped out of pure curiosity about his female friend. I know of her and I know they are close, but he never talks about her. So I read some text messages about six-plus months ago, some flirty banter back and forth and him suggesting that they should hook up. I have been with my boyfriend for three years and I felt like I got slapped across the face when I read this. This girl refused, but it got me thinking, what if she didn't? They have not exchanged any messages or calls since last November.

Now I am torn about whether or not I should let this go because it was a long time ago or should I bring it up? Nothing has been wrong with our relationship (I guess other than my snooping), and he has been affectionate and loving.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice.

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martino<3 martino<3 3 years
So...you are a snooper? :) It is my opinion that everyone has done this, in fact I am a snooper pro. But with snooping you are taking a chance that there may be a possibility that you will find something you do not really want to see. And even though your hopes are high that you wont, in most cases you do and then reality slaps you in your face. It has you thinking that it has been possible you relationship may have been a lie, along with a ridiculous amount of other questions and scenarios. In your case, since it has been months ago since this convo between your man and the "friend" had taken place it is safe to say you can let it go. BUT, if you know that the situation will bother you and cause friction in your relationship then you should feel comfortable enough to fess up about your action and have a convo about what it is you had seen. You deserve to know if you lover has another agenda or if in fact he is faithful to you. If there is one thing I have learned to trust when it comes to my relationships...it is my gut feeling. In most cases if you feel you lover is up to no good then they probably are (remember these are my opinions and are not based on any scientific facts). I could possibly be giving you the wrong advice but at the end of the day if your relationship is meant to be than it can stand a little rocky waters. A woman needs to feel safe in a relationship on all levels and it is okay to protect yourself by confronting the matter. I would not bring it up in a negative and combative way but a simple discussion in regards to how you feel about should open the door to a healthy discussion. Good luck.
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