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Friendship With an Ex Works For Some People

Arianna Huffington has taken a break from blogging about politics to share some personal insight: how she is managing to enjoy a family vacation with her ex-husband.

Arianna explains that like many other divorced couples she and her ex-husband have managed to maintain a friendship for the sake of their kids. Still, I know some former couples who have remained friends without any higher obligation to their mutual offspring. Some people reason that although the romance is gone, the closeness is still there.

Do you think it's possible to enjoy a healthy, and completely platonic, relationship with a former significant other? Once you cross the line from friend to lover, is it ever possible to go back?

Source: Flickr User A Y U M i (LoveLiveLaugh)

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chow chow 7 years
i think its possible. im friends with an ex and it works out really well especially since its been so many years since we were together. we were friends before we were a couple so that helped for us. of course, it wont work for everyone.
tarynitup tarynitup 7 years
My soon to be ex-husband and I are very close friends! He's still my favorite person, I just don't want to get naked with him. We went out dancing last weekend and out for brunch and had the best time! He's more like a brother to me than anything else. We were together for 10 years so it would be very hard to cut him out of my life when he hasn't betrayed or offended me in any major way.
efsarbaby efsarbaby 7 years
I'm not sure I could go on a road trip or anything with my son's father.
McSquish McSquish 7 years
I am currently in that situation. The first time my ex and i broke up, I was super pissed and did NOT want to be friends with him. We ended up getting back together for another 3 years (a total of 5.) We tried our darnedest to make the relationship work but alas, we broke up 5 months ago amicably. We didn't talk for about 2 months which at first was hard, then got easier. Now, we are both just kind of navigating the boundaries that comes with being close friends and not emotionally intimate lovers and its hard. I really miss the closeness but I also know there need to be some boundaries. I know it will take time until we are in a good place and enough time has passed that the reminiscent romantic love turns into a lovely friendship.
staple-salad staple-salad 7 years
Totally possible. My ex is my best friend. My mom is good friends with her ex husband (and he's friends with most of his ex's and all his ex-wives are friends with each other). My boyfriend's exes are his best friends. My ex's recent ex and him are good friends. Actually, I think I know more people that befriend their exes than don't. My mom has always told me that if you're friends with your ex after the breakup/divorce, that's a good thing, because it means you were friends all along... ie not just in it for the sex.
Beauty Beauty 7 years
One of my exes is now one of my closest friends. We needed about a year for our relationship to get there, but now we talk with each other about everything from family to job stuff to, yes, relationships. It's really good to know that our strong connection remains, just in a different form than it used to be.
sunshinepointe sunshinepointe 7 years
My first "real" boyfriend (Read, lived with, non high school garbage) is now married to my best friend and they have 2 kids. We're totally best of friends. It works.
leslievanhouten leslievanhouten 7 years
I agree with AlphaChickett that a healthy amount of time to pass is essential...but also the nature of the relationship and how it ended. I am still friends w/ my HS boyfriend (I'm in my thirties). But we broke up in college, and both agreed to move on. However...when I see my ex from my 20s, I want to punch him in the face. Although, I did walk past him on the sidewalk and I actually put my hand to my face to block him from view. Kinda ridiculous.
AlphaChickee AlphaChickee 7 years
You can absolutely have a healthy and platonic friendship with an ex. I actually was just invited and attended an ex-boyfriend's wedding! I think one of the keys to having this kind of healthy relationship is for a significant amount of time to have passed. Afterall, you're each part of the other person's history and may have helped shape them into who they are today...so once you get past the initial frustration of whatever went wrong between you two, and let some time go by, I think it's possible to be nice and platonic. It's not for everyone though.
elizabethsosewn elizabethsosewn 7 years
i find it possible. There will always be little undertones of the past with people but it's about how you handle those. I ignore them. I'm friends with three of my exes, one of which was my first love and he is the best friend I could ever have. My boyfriend doesn't understand how I am capable of such friendships, so it's a little awkward, but I like to think I maintain a healthy balance.
totygoliguez totygoliguez 7 years
I think it ca be possible, very hard to accomplished but it can get done. It also depends on the relationship you had with that person, and if you still in love. I personally prefer to cut all tights with my exes. To me that's healthier.
allthingsgrow allthingsgrow 7 years
my parents had a very friendly divorce and even work at the same office now. however, i know enough about myself to know that if i just go through a break-up, i have to sever ties completely for at least a few months to get over them. and it is so difficult to go back to being close with someone without the romantic undertones, i usually find there to be a lot of sexual tension with my exes. but! maybe that will change. i do not have any truly platonic relationships with my exes.
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