The funny women of Twitter cannot deny a few crucial universal truths: we love a good compliment, and we often think about pizza and sex at the same time. In this week's edition of Tweets Girls Say, our girlfriends on Twitter pontificated on porn, pizza, hobos, and nuts. Check 'em out now, and for even more funny, follow us on Twitter!
Watched a pretty great porn, the girl goes "I'm sad" then the guy says "here's some pizza & my credit card I'll leave you alone" end scene.
— Bez (@Bez) March 14, 2014
Complimenting me is the same as pushing one of those big red EASY buttons.
— Lori (@HeyitsLori) March 8, 2014
I love it when guys close their eyes right before they kiss me because it's a perfect time to start crying
— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) March 12, 2014
Being shocked when it's cold in winter is like being shocked when sex stops after marriage. Duh.
— Stacey Lynne (@NervousJr) March 13, 2014
Engagement photos but it's just me reuniting with a slice of pizza. Black and white. Very romantic. Very airbrushed.
— jacqueline carbajal (@jackiecarbajal) March 14, 2014
The most attractive facial feature a man can have is disinterest
— Alison Agosti (@AlisonAgosti) March 9, 2014
— Amy Schumer (@amyschumer) March 13, 2014
A guy who broke my heart ten years ago just posted a long "milk is murder" diatribe on Facebook, so I guess I really dodged a bullet there.
— Mandi Harris (@MandiHarris) March 13, 2014
A hobo just hit on me and I stopped to listen to what he had to say. So, that's how I'm doing.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) March 6, 2014
If your ex texts you, it's probably because they tried to replace you, but failed.
— sorry i'm not sorry (@sorrynotsorryy) March 13, 2014