The funny women of Twitter cannot deny a few crucial universal truths: we love a good compliment, and we often think about pizza and sex at the same time. In this week's edition of Tweets Girls Say , our girlfriends on Twitter pontificated on porn, pizza, hobos, and nuts. Check 'em out now, and for even more funny, follow us on Twitter !
Watched a pretty great porn, the girl goes "I'm sad" then the guy says "here's some pizza & my credit card I'll leave you alone" end scene.
— Bez (@Bez) March 14, 2014 
Complimenting me is the same as pushing one of those big red EASY buttons.
— Lori (@HeyitsLori) March 8, 2014 
I love it when guys close their eyes right before they kiss me because it's a perfect time to start crying
— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) March 12, 2014 
Being shocked when it's cold in winter is like being shocked when sex stops after marriage. Duh.
— Stacey Lynne (@NervousJr) March 13, 2014 
Engagement photos but it's just me reuniting with a slice of pizza. Black and white. Very romantic. Very airbrushed.
— jacqueline carbajal (@jackiecarbajal) March 14, 2014 
The most attractive facial feature a man can have is disinterest
— Alison Agosti (@AlisonAgosti) March 9, 2014 
Hehe pic.twitter.com/OELC1XwCYB 
— Amy Schumer (@amyschumer) March 13, 2014 
A guy who broke my heart ten years ago just posted a long "milk is murder" diatribe on Facebook, so I guess I really dodged a bullet there.
— Mandi Harris (@MandiHarris) March 13, 2014 
A hobo just hit on me and I stopped to listen to what he had to say. So, that's how I'm doing.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) March 6, 2014 
If your ex texts you, it's probably because they tried to replace you, but failed.
— sorry i'm not sorry (@sorrynotsorryy) March 13, 2014