Skip Nav

Get More Downtown Traffic

Dear Sugar
I just started dating a wonderful guy who is oh-so-cute, has a great sense of humor and calls me frequently. I get along with him so well but . . . he needs some tips in the bedroom - specifically on how to go "downtown."

He's only done it to me once and it lasted less than a minute. It was extremely uncomfortable and in that short time, he even managed to bite me (not in a good way). I don't think he knows what he's doing.

Do you have any suggestions on how to talk to him about this delicate matter? Should I describe moves to him? It's hard enough for me to orgasm, and I think this would really help. Unsatisfied Savannah

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Unsatisfied Savannah
Dirty talk. Communication is the bedrock of sexual satisfaction. Not only will it get his attention, but you'll keep it and you won't have to put any undue pressure on him.

So when you are kissing and heavy petting, tell him all of the things that you like done to you and then guide him down there. Give him direction until it feels good and then be sure and praise him for it (stroke that ego).

We are afraid of offending our lovers. We don't want to judge them just like we wouldn't want them to judge us, but - it's important to talk about your needs so that you can have a satisfying sex life together. Never forget that you are a team.

Don't be bossy while he's in the act, rather describe to him what you'd like him to do with his tongue, his lips, his fingers. . . (get it)? Now's the time to show him how happy he's made you and reciprocate. Leading by example is always the best way to get what you want.

Latest Love
Looking for the perfect gift this holiday season? Order our POPSUGAR Must Have box now >>