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Get Out There

Dear Sugar
I am a very bubbly, outgoing person and the people I meet have been naturally attracted to me as a person. In the past, I never had trouble making friends. Recently my husband and I moved to a new city. I work full-time, am going back to school full-time and I am an avid jogger.

Although my life is busy, I miss having my friends around. Although they are only a phone call away, it is hard not having someone close to home to spend time with. I have a good friend at work, but outside of the office we don't get together much.

My hubby and I have friends that are "our" friends, but they are all men. How can I make my own friends with such a busy life? I really would really like to have at least one person that I could eventually call a best friend. Lonely Lydia

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Lonely Lydia
Making new friends is sometimes difficult especially when you get older, but the good news is it is possible. One way to look at meeting new people is the same way you view dating; it takes trial and error to find the right match. Try making an effort to spend more time with your colleagues outside of work.

School is another great place to meet people so you could ask an acquaintance from class to grab some coffee during a break or get a drink after school. Since you are an avid jogger, you could join a gym as a way to network. Try to find a jogging buddy to spend a few hours with on the weekends who can teach you more about your new home.

Do your guy friends have wives or girlfriends you can create relationships with? Also, have you considered becoming more active in your community? Try going to your local bookstore and see if they have a book club you could join. The key is getting yourself out there so you are able to meet new people.

Friendships don't form overnight, but remember that with time, your acquaintances will love your outgoing bubbly self and you will have a few new pals. Good luck to you and to your husband. I have faith that just by reaching out in a few new ways, you will connect with someone who is just as outgoing as you are!

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Marci Marci 9 years
I've found that it gets harder and harder to make really good friends as we get older. We'll have these good friendships at work that don't extend after office hours for the most part. It's strange. People seem to be so involved in their lives or something and don't seem to go out of their way much. Lonely Lydia, I think it's just going to take time. You're involved in work, school and jogging, so I think eventually you'll meet people through those avenues. Unfortunately, it's pretty lonely before things start to click. Hang in there!
Escape Escape 9 years
Don't feel bad, I can't make friends! LOL. I don't get it! All my friends from high school and I have grown apart, it has been 10 years. I am trying small groups at my church to see if I can hook up with some good people. One group is complete and no friends yet :(. ~~~ Niki ~~~
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