One thing to keep in mind if you got dumped on breakup day is that no matter how bad your breakup is, someone else has an even worse story. Sure, it feels awful, but you aren't the first person to get dumped or to dump someone. Being on either side of a breakup is hard, but it's important to maintain some perspective through all your moping and self-pitying. For instance, though I recently split up with my husband, I often remind myself that I'm glad we didn't buy a house or give birth to any kids during our years together.
While the circumstances of every breakup are different, many of us exhibit the same symptoms: not knowing how to cheer yourself up, worrying that you'll burden friends with breakup talk, and suddenly finding yourself with a lot of free time but zero attention span.
So based on extensive research — that is, getting dumped and talking to friends who have been dumped — I've compiled a list of things to do in the weeks and months after a breakup.
- Make a list of things you'll miss about your ex — and things you won't miss one bit.
- Make a mopey/angry breakup playlist.
- Make a feel-good playlist that has nothing to do with romance whatsoever.
- When you're ready, change your relationship status on social media.
- While you're at it, look up some old flames and crushes.
- Hide the photo evidence of your relationship.
- Let yourself be sad, but not all the time.
- Let yourself be angry, but don't share those feelings with your ex.
- Schedule time with your friends.
- Have a one-night stand. If you're into that sort of thing.
- Date someone who's not your usual type. That's what rebounds are for.
- Do things by yourself.
- Each week, do something new or something that scares you a little.
- Get rid of items your ex liked and you didn't.
- Schedule a trip to see family or close friends.
- Wear clothes that make you feel good.
- Wear clothes your ex hated.
- Buy new underwear.
- Do something that makes you feel hot.
- Take up a new fitness activity (see feeling hot, above).
- Face a new challenge — get yourself out of your own head.
- Take advantage of all your new free time and do something good, like volunteer one day a week.
- Read books and watch movies about people who have it way worse than you. Perspective, people!
- Watch totally mindless funny movies and take up the entire couch while doing it.
- Listen to podcasts and books on tape (especially if you find it hard to concentrate).
- Do crossword puzzles.
- Get a little crazy, but don't do anything stupid.
- Do something fun that your ex never wanted to do.
- Try making a joke about it.
- Remember: you won't feel this awful forever.
Now, I'm sure we can make this list much longer. Tell me: what helped you get through a breakup?