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Getting In Touch After First Date

"How Do I Get In Touch After a First Date?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have a question about how to get in contact with a guy after the first date. I just recently started dating again after taking a break for probably close to a year after a bad breakup. I met this guy in a coffee shop, he asked for my contact info, and a week later he asked me out for dinner. The date was great - we chatted all night, have a lot in common, yadda yadda yadda. At the end of the date, he had asked me if I wanted to stay in contact and I said yes, and he replied "well I'll shoot you a text some time!" Thing is, a few days after that date I left town for a week and a half, which he knew about. I've been back in town for a few days, and I'm not sure at this point if I'm supposed to be waiting for his text or if I should just get in contact with him. I had assumed he'd be in contact before this, and I don't want him to think I'm not interested

Any advice? I feel a bit silly asking, since I hate the idea that there are "rules" to dating and I usually just do what feels right, but I feel like it's a weird situation with me going away right after the date.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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subliminalseduction subliminalseduction 4 years
I'm with testadura. Let him know you're back, tell him you had a good time and see what happens.    
testadura67 testadura67 4 years
Just shoot him a text letting him know you're back in town and if he's up for it, you'd like to hang out again. If you don't hear back, leave it at that.
chibros chibros 4 years
Of course there are no rules to dating anymore but you need to adjust things so your value of things will worth it in future. The guy sounds like someone that knows the game perfectly, that is "well I'll shoot you a text some time!". He is just taking his time and don't want to show much interests, which is what screws up date when the girl is not much as interested as you are. Technically, it's just few days difference from the first one, the travel time is not counted. You can as well contact him or much better be a bit busy and give things a little more time for him or you to contact again (with excuse, back and being busy with things and work after trip).
henna-red henna-red 4 years
In that case, I think Helen's strategy is perfect. :)
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 4 years
One text. Hey it's [name]! Back in town. Had a great time at dinner with you last Wednesday (or whenever). Hungry again and I'd love to see you. What do you think? Don't hint. Don't ask him to call you. Don't be verbose. Don't explain. Don't act unsure of yourself. Don't ask him out; instead, encourage him to ask you out by being enthusiastic about what you did last time. There's a subtle difference. Be upbeat, happy, and excited to see him again. If you don't hear back, he's not interested. If he responds but doesn't ask you out, he's not interested. These aren't rules. Just suggestions based on my observations and my history of wrangling guys over the years.
robyncat robyncat 4 years
Oh no - that's not the problem. I guess I worded my first sentence wrong. I have his number and everything too, I'm just not sure if I should wait for him to text me or just go ahead and text him instead, and what I should say if I do :) sorry!
henna-red henna-red 4 years
Did he call for the first date on your cell phone? If so, you should have his number in your phone. Or even if it's the house phone, they record numbers also. If you don't have his number, then I think you're checking out the coffee shop. Only thing I can think of. Ask for digits in return, so all communication isn't in his ballpark. good luck, hope you find him
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