Skip Nav
Nostalgia
Oops, We Did It Again . . . 31 Millennial Costumes That Are So Fetch
Women
17 Typewriter-Font Tattoos For the Girl Who Has a Way With Words
Summer
The 31 Books You MUST Put in Your Beach Bag This Summer!

Good Idea or Bad Idea: Dating your Ex's Friend

Good Idea or Bad Idea: Dating your Ex's Friend

I get many questions from women asking if their ex's friends are off limits. While every situation is different, this is a touchy subject. The old cliché states, you can't help whom you fall for, but does that ring true when getting between two friends? We all have people we consider "off limits", so do you all think it's a good idea or a bad idea to date your ex's friend?

Source

Around The Web
Join The Conversation
kisswhitni kisswhitni 7 years
I'm a little indifferent about this situation, mainly because I am currently in it. I met this guy back in Dec. We never had much of a connection until nearly 2 months later, which quickly died after I realized what a self-absorbed egomaniac he was/is. Before I go any further, I want to address that we were NOT a couple; we went out on ONE date, hung out (meaning watched movies and talked) at his place a few times, and talked on the phone regularly. Earlier this month he invited me to a fraternity reunion he was throwing for his old frat bros. One of his bros. began talking to me not long after I arrived and by the end of the night, we'd exchanged numbers and have been talking consistently ever since. The night we met, he told my "ex" that he wanted to get to know me. My "ex" never once mentioned anything to him about "us", and neither did/have I. My new guy lives in KY, me and his frat bro. live in TN. I don't know how often they talk, but I would imagine it's not that often. I'm a little torn between whether or not I'm wrong and whether or not to even tell my new guy about my VERY brief fling with his frat bro.
Jeny Jeny 8 years
OK.. I have a personal story. I dated someone for 7 months off and on and he lived in another city from the very start (mind you that city is at best 2 hours away and we didn't mind traveling to visit each other). Well, I broke up with him 10 months ago after I found out about drug use. This month, I ran into one of his old frat brothers that use to live in the ex's city who now lives in my city. He is no longer friends with the ex for the same reason I broke up with him. We are getting along so well because we knew of eachother before we started dating. So in this case, I don't feel at all bad because neither one of us keeps in contact with the ex.
Schaianne Schaianne 9 years
I actually dated my friend's ex WITH her permission ... until she got jealous at how well he treated me ... and pursued him behind my back. Seriously NOT a good idea.
blogsap blogsap 9 years
seriously though, popgoestheworld gave spot on Dear Abby advice. really, that's what she says.
pixiechick pixiechick 9 years
I dont think its a good idea. I dont want my friends to think I'm competition and I most certainly dont want their sloppy seconds. Of course there are exceptions to every situation but in this one most times I'd say no. I also think its off limits to date a friends sibling.
blogsap blogsap 9 years
look what happend to LC & Bunny!
vmruby vmruby 9 years
so they can hang out like friends do and swap stories about you. I've seen that happen as well. IMO it's not the wisest choice........
vmruby vmruby 9 years
so they can hang out like friends do and swap stories about you. I've seen that happen as well. IMO it's not the wisest choice........
ncel ncel 9 years
I agree that it depends on the length of the first relationship, the amount of time between relationships, and how close the friends are.I know a person who dumped her bf of nearly a year, and he was the last to know. Her new bf, who happened to be his best friend, was the first to know, and was going out with her the same day. Now the two friends hate eachother. I think that even if there was maybe a month or two between the two relationships, the two guys would still at least acknowledge eachother, considering all the years they'd been friends you know?
ncel ncel 9 years
I agree that it depends on the length of the first relationship, the amount of time between relationships, and how close the friends are. I know a person who dumped her bf of nearly a year, and he was the last to know. Her new bf, who happened to be his best friend, was the first to know, and was going out with her the same day. Now the two friends hate eachother. I think that even if there was maybe a month or two between the two relationships, the two guys would still at least acknowledge eachother, considering all the years they'd been friends you know?
grl-in-the-world grl-in-the-world 9 years
This could be awkward, if you are close with your friend there could be hurt feelings. If they give you the go ahead then I suppose it could work.
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
i have a few friends that met their spouses this way. it every case the relationship with the ex had been very minimal and pretty brief (6 months or less, not exclusive). if it would come between the friends i guess thats for the guy to decide if he wants to risk it.
Marci Marci 9 years
I think it depends on whether you're all still hanging out as a group on some level. If yes, then it's awkward. But if not? All bets are all and all is fair in love and war.
jessugar jessugar 9 years
While I'm not one to speak in absolutes, and fully recognize that every situation is different, friendship is something that should be respected. Some things are off limits, and most of the time, I think exes (to your friends) and friends of exes (to you) are among them. That said, "the course of true love never did run smooth." You have to follow your heart, and be prepared to accept whatever happens as a result.
GQ_send GQ_send 9 years
i got a few guy friends who would date ex's. But for me, Hell no, i would never date my friend's ex. Cause i don't want to be around with each other if i do end up hanging out with my friends. Too much drama, too much history and all of that. If my guy friend ask me if they would date my ex, i don't mind but it's not for me.
andaman andaman 9 years
Yep popgoestheworld you're right! It varies so much.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
There should be an option for depends on the situation. I think it depends on seriousness/length of relationship, time since relationship ended, closeness of friendship, how serious you are about the guy. And of course, asking permission, or at least being up front with the person.
Chandler Bing Lines From Friends | GIFs
Parenting and Pregnancy Lessons From Friends
Matt LeBlanc's Instagram Picture With Patrick Dempsey
Disney Love Quotes
My Boyfriend's Mom Hates Me
Tips For a Successful Friendship
Signs He's Not Serious About You

POPSUGAR, the #1 independent media and technology company for women. Where more than 75 million women go for original, inspirational content that feeds their passions and interests.

From Our Partners
Latest Love
X