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Good Idea or Bad Idea: "Mommy Makeover"

Good Idea or Bad Idea: "Mommy Makeover"

Have you heard of the "mommy makeover"? It's a triple whammy under the knife including a breast lift with or without breast implants, a tummy tuck and some liposuction for women after giving birth. Pregnancy obviously takes a toll on your body, but some women are actually feeling resentful of their kids for their post pregnancy flaws.

According to the New York Times, last year, doctors nationwide performed more than 325,000 “mommy makeover procedures” on women ages 20 to 39, up 11 percent from 2005. While these surgeries are comforting for some women out there, others are feeling the "mommy makeover" as added pressure to be thin, perfect and "back to normal" after giving birth. The New York Times article quotes one mother, Karen Murphy, as saying: "Badges of motherhood have turned into badges of shame and, if you’re the one caught without a tummy tuck, then you won’t get invited to the party." So ladies, what I want to know is, do you think it's a good idea or a bad idea to have such surgeries for new mothers? Do you think there should be such emphasis placed on one's looks after giving birth or do you think a mom should be more concerned about her baby than her body?

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brown_eyed_grrl brown_eyed_grrl 8 years
Very good points, Bookish. As for the question of dependency, I guess if breastfeeding and babysitting are your only concerns, you're good to go. My friend has two young children, not babies, and she rethought getting a boob job after having to have back surgery and seeing how difficult it was to not be able to care for her kids, and she had plenty of help from her husband and family members. Fact is, the mother is still the mother to a child, and can't be replaced. I don't recall calling anyone neglectful, I simply pointed out the obvious--your kids will still want you to pick them up, play with them, etc., and they won't understand why you can't. That, and when you take Bookish's points into consideration, your child may REALLY not understand growing up without a mother, all because our society makes women feel like they need to look like they're 18 their entire lives.
brown_eyed_grrl brown_eyed_grrl 8 years
Very good points, Bookish. As for the question of dependency, I guess if breastfeeding and babysitting are your only concerns, you're good to go. My friend has two young children, not babies, and she rethought getting a boob job after having to have back surgery and seeing how difficult it was to not be able to care for her kids, and she had plenty of help from her husband and family members. Fact is, the mother is still the mother to a child, and can't be replaced. I don't recall calling anyone neglectful, I simply pointed out the obvious--your kids will still want you to pick them up, play with them, etc., and they won't understand why you can't. That, and when you take Bookish's points into consideration, your child may REALLY not understand growing up without a mother, all because our society makes women feel like they need to look like they're 18 their entire lives.
Bookish Bookish 8 years
The mortality rate is something to be considered as well. Say you're a new mom, you've got a wonderful husband, a beautiful baby, and if you could just get your boobs and tummy fixed everything would be perfect. You don't think about the fact that these are major surgeries and you could die, leaving your new baby motherless and your husband a widower.Abdominoplasty (tummy tuck) has a mortality rate of 1 in 600. That means that out of every 600 women who undergo the procedure, one can be expected to die. This statistic is taken from a plastic surgeon's website.Liposuction has a death rate of 19 per 100,000. That's safer than a tummy tuck, but still higher than the death rate of people who are injured in car accidents (16.1 out of 100,000). I couldn't find what looked to be reliable data on the mortality rate of breast augmentation/reduction/lifts, but it seemed to be the least dangerous of the three procedures.I know this is inflammatory language and I don't usually indulge in that sort of thing, but this is something of which any woman considering plastic surgery should be aware. Doctors are pushing these completely voluntary surgeries so that they can MAKE MONEY, not so we can be any healthier or happier. It's about profit, not health, and I think it's shameful that surgeons are targeting women like this, and that women feel they need to look like nubile adolescents well into middle-age.
Bookish Bookish 8 years
The mortality rate is something to be considered as well. Say you're a new mom, you've got a wonderful husband, a beautiful baby, and if you could just get your boobs and tummy fixed everything would be perfect. You don't think about the fact that these are major surgeries and you could die, leaving your new baby motherless and your husband a widower. Abdominoplasty (tummy tuck) has a mortality rate of 1 in 600. That means that out of every 600 women who undergo the procedure, one can be expected to die. This statistic is taken from a plastic surgeon's website. Liposuction has a death rate of 19 per 100,000. That's safer than a tummy tuck, but still higher than the death rate of people who are injured in car accidents (16.1 out of 100,000). I couldn't find what looked to be reliable data on the mortality rate of breast augmentation/reduction/lifts, but it seemed to be the least dangerous of the three procedures. I know this is inflammatory language and I don't usually indulge in that sort of thing, but this is something of which any woman considering plastic surgery should be aware. Doctors are pushing these completely voluntary surgeries so that they can MAKE MONEY, not so we can be any healthier or happier. It's about profit, not health, and I think it's shameful that surgeons are targeting women like this, and that women feel they need to look like nubile adolescents well into middle-age.
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 8 years
1. When is the time when your baby will be "less dependent"? Oh I dont know, maybe when the child isn't depending on their mother's breasts to feed? Maybe when the child is 3 or 4 years old and can be taken care of by other family members while the mother heals for a couple weeks? I would consider that to be less dependent on the mother, and I wouldnt consider a mother who is having the father, aunt, grandmother, etc., staying with her to help with childcare while she heals to be a neglectful parent, I would consider her to be responsible.
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 8 years
1. When is the time when your baby will be "less dependent"? Oh I dont know, maybe when the child isn't depending on their mother's breasts to feed? Maybe when the child is 3 or 4 years old and can be taken care of by other family members while the mother heals for a couple weeks? I would consider that to be less dependent on the mother, and I wouldnt consider a mother who is having the father, aunt, grandmother, etc., staying with her to help with childcare while she heals to be a neglectful parent, I would consider her to be responsible.
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 8 years
erthed - agreed.
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 8 years
erthed - agreed.
erthed erthed 8 years
I am SO proud of my children and the fact that I carried each of the three of them for 9 months of my life (that's a WHOPPING total of 27 months). However, as much as I do consider the stretch marks, extra skin, and saggy boobs as badges of honor, I don't necessarily enjoy flaunting them at parties. I've never had the body that I've envied on other women. Even before pregnancy I wanted to have work done. Add the stretch marks, saggy boobs, and extra tummy skin...yeah, I've never wanted it more than I do now. Not because of how I look to other people, but because of how I look to myself. I can handle what I've got right now, but as soon as the day comes that I have an extra $15k laying around the house, that'll be the day I get my mommy makeover. And it's not for anyone but me.
fatphobic fatphobic 8 years
well, i think it's okay to get fixed up after having a child. I lost all my baby weight the natural way, but breast feeding completely changed my boobs for the worse and i'm not as confident now, much less with the stretch marks on my hips and thighs. people can do whatever they want to their bodies, its not my business, but i don't think women actually resent their kids for this.
brown_eyed_grrl brown_eyed_grrl 8 years
1. When is the time when your baby will be "less dependent"? My understanding is that you can't pick up your child for weeks after these procedures. I don't know how you could have a crying child or a child who just wants to be held in your arms, but you can't do it because of an elective surgery. 2. This makes me sad. Yes, it's your choice, blah, blah, blah. Yes, if you've lost tons of weight and have huge skin flaps, that's different. But that's not the case for most of us. I'm 26, and I'm worried about what pregnancy might do to my body, but instead of feeling like our society is saying to embrace yourself, enjoy motherhood, and just be healthy, it's like all I hear is how awful your body will look and how surgery is the only way to get your body back. More and more I'm turning to European ideas about beauty (BTW thanks to the post above for the Laura Mercier article). They embrace aging as a natural process, and they age gracefully and beautifully. One article I read says that Europeans see Americans as women trying to look like teenagers with the way we often dress and do our makeup, and with all of the plastic surgery. Maybe I'll need to move to Europe when I start to age, since I won't fit in in a sea of lifted boobs and face lifts.
brown_eyed_grrl brown_eyed_grrl 8 years
1. When is the time when your baby will be "less dependent"? My understanding is that you can't pick up your child for weeks after these procedures. I don't know how you could have a crying child or a child who just wants to be held in your arms, but you can't do it because of an elective surgery. 2. This makes me sad. Yes, it's your choice, blah, blah, blah. Yes, if you've lost tons of weight and have huge skin flaps, that's different. But that's not the case for most of us. I'm 26, and I'm worried about what pregnancy might do to my body, but instead of feeling like our society is saying to embrace yourself, enjoy motherhood, and just be healthy, it's like all I hear is how awful your body will look and how surgery is the only way to get your body back. More and more I'm turning to European ideas about beauty (BTW thanks to the post above for the Laura Mercier article). They embrace aging as a natural process, and they age gracefully and beautifully. One article I read says that Europeans see Americans as women trying to look like teenagers with the way we often dress and do our makeup, and with all of the plastic surgery. Maybe I'll need to move to Europe when I start to age, since I won't fit in in a sea of lifted boobs and face lifts.
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 8 years
bah...to each their own... if I can afford it, I'm going to do it...if I can't, I won't...we'll see how it goes!
ClassicsDiva ClassicsDiva 8 years
Only a few people have touched on the fact that surgery is dangerous and painful and you could die. Yes, it gets safer all the time, and yes, some procedures are riskier than others, but any time they slice you open, there's risk of infection, mistakes, or anasthesia issues. I personally feel that unless you're dealing with serious quality of life issues (I think ginormous skin flaps from sextuplets probably count), it is probably quite imprudent to say, "Sure, hack me up, Doc!" In my view, surgery is something to be avoided at all costs, and performed only when my life depends on it. I doubt I'll ever go in for any kind of elective procedure.
ginghamgirl ginghamgirl 8 years
eat healthy, breastfeed and exercise. :D best ways to lose all that weight.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 8 years
Tiger face!!! :roflol: I don't think I'll go under the knife for any procedure (since I'm too chicken for that), I also appreciate the fact that our bodies will change with time. I welcome it. I did feel odd with my 'softer' breasts and the soft pouch on my belly, but that was in the beginning, I'm so used to it now, my son often pats my tummy, he thinks it's cute. But if only I can spare a few hundreds to hire me a personal trainer and actually buy me TIME to work out at the gym, I'll be so happy! :D :sigh:
kurniakasih kurniakasih 8 years
Tiger face!!! :roflol:I don't think I'll go under the knife for any procedure (since I'm too chicken for that), I also appreciate the fact that our bodies will change with time. I welcome it.I did feel odd with my 'softer' breasts and the soft pouch on my belly, but that was in the beginning, I'm so used to it now, my son often pats my tummy, he thinks it's cute.But if only I can spare a few hundreds to hire me a personal trainer and actually buy me TIME to work out at the gym, I'll be so happy! :D:sigh:
Jennifer777 Jennifer777 8 years
I already know that I will be having plastic surgery post babies... I need a boob reduction as it is (they are too big) so what better time to get one then post pregnancy...I wouldn't mind a tummy-tuck and I would kill for lipo on my thighs (please don't lecture about how diet & exercise will fix that- I am married to a personal trainer & we haven't been able to fix it yet.) I would never have it right after I have the baby but rather a year or so later. I want to lose the weight naturally (9 months on, 9 months off...) I say to each her own.
Jennifer777 Jennifer777 8 years
I already know that I will be having plastic surgery post babies... I need a boob reduction as it is (they are too big) so what better time to get one then post pregnancy...I wouldn't mind a tummy-tuck and I would kill for lipo on my thighs (please don't lecture about how diet & exercise will fix that- I am married to a personal trainer & we haven't been able to fix it yet.) I would never have it right after I have the baby but rather a year or so later. I want to lose the weight naturally (9 months on, 9 months off...)I say to each her own.
coddswaddle coddswaddle 8 years
BRANDYNICOLE730: I was just thinking that myself! Are all these body-obsessed women going to just keep getting surgery for every sign of change? Really, what *will* they look like at 50, 60, even 80? They won't look like the mature beauties I revere: Audrey Hepburn and Katherine Hepburn.Check out this article: http://www.myprimetime.com/health/fearless_aging/content/laura1208/index.shtml
coddswaddle coddswaddle 8 years
BRANDYNICOLE730: I was just thinking that myself! Are all these body-obsessed women going to just keep getting surgery for every sign of change? Really, what *will* they look like at 50, 60, even 80? They won't look like the mature beauties I revere: Audrey Hepburn and Katherine Hepburn. Check out this article: http://www.myprimetime.com/health/fearless_aging/content/laura1208/index.shtml
BRANDYNICOLE730 BRANDYNICOLE730 8 years
This obsession that society seems to have with plastic surgery these days has gotten out of hand. Why can't women respect themselves enough to know they are naturally beautiful anymore? It'll be funny when this generation reaches their 50s and they all have tiger face.
spazzydana spazzydana 8 years
oh and yes it is completely fair to say. everyone is entitled to their own opinion and if i think that its stupid to have such a low self esteem that you need a boob lift to make you feel better and that mothers should stop trying to look 16 again then its my own opinion.
lilwildone1202 lilwildone1202 8 years
I think its a waste of money, plus, your body obviously is going to change after you have a baby. its nature. Not to say that I wouldn't get a boob lift...years after I had kids. but it wouldn't be like..have a baby, get plastic surgery done all in the same hospital stay
DCRoamer DCRoamer 8 years
I think its really sad that some women resent their kids for causing their 'post-pregnancy flaws'. I have no opinion about whether I think it is a good or bad idea to have surgery (if someone wants to do it, I guess that's their prerogative). But I think the thought of resenting your kids for taking away your perfect body is just horrible.
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