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The Grass Is Always Greener

Dear Sugar
I am a sophomore in college and broke up with my boyfriend of two and a half years, five months ago. Right after we broke up, I met a guy who goes to a different university about an hour away from mine. We started seeing each other, but after only a few weeks, I was very honest and told him I wasn't ready to be in a relationship.

Two weeks ago he called to invite me to a ice hockey game. I was reluctant at first, but he told me he had a girlfriend and just wanted to hang out as friends, so I went...big mistake. I got there and he was all over me and I hate to say it, but we had sex. I felt so bad that I was being a home wrecker, it is so not in my character to act that way, and I left immediately.

Days later I started thinking about him non-stop and realized I want him back. I have always been the kind of person who wants what I can't have so how can I tell if what I am feeling is real, or jealousy? Should I tell him how I am feeling? Longing for Him Lidia

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Longing for Him Lidia
Only you can be the judge of your feelings so listen to your gut instinct. Is this another example of wanting what you can't have? As much as you didn't want to be a home wrecker, did you visit your buddy to make sure he still wanted you?

Take yourself back to the way you felt when you broke it off with him, what part about your relationship made you not ready then but ready now? The feeling of wanting what you can't have is common, but can be very self-destructive.

It sounds as though he is still interested in you, so make sure you are certain of your feelings before you say anything to him and get his hopes up. Stringing him along and stirring the pot isn't fair to either of you if your intentions are not pure.

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